~ sad zone ~

~sad zone rant 5~

more mad rant, I was nearly pulling out my hair with my fists because of this shit

[rant begins now]

So get this, I've been in a different state for 5 days. Weird start but yeah, I wasn't fully aware of what those 5 days were for, all my mom said when she left me with my aunt was "your gonna help them watch the baby" so I naturally, not knowing that they were fucking MOVING with a child, packed regular going out close so basically, jeans and shirts and one pair of overalls. At least I looked good while moving boxes and being yelled at for being slower than all the adults who exercise without adhd :]

So my flight got delayed once on the way there, three times on the way back. I ended up getting at my aunts house at 1 am and end up getting home at 5 pm the next day. You know what I fucking arrived to? What the girl who had gone up and down three flights of stairs more than twelve times in less than thirty minutes had arrived to as soon as she entered her house? Well for one my dog ended up taking a shit on the floor and stank up the whole house (I feel bad for her my dog was alone for nearly 6 hours or more poor girl)  and for two, something I kinda knew I was coming home to but I did not like. MY FUCKING MOM "CLEANED" MY ROOM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. Apparently it was supposed to be a 'congrats your going to high school thing' cause yknow what my room apparently wasn't in fine enough condition for my mother who doesn't go in that room more than once or twice a day. It was fine for the person who SLEPT in the room but not for the person who walks in sometimes.

Let me get this shit straight, she thought looking through my shit was something me. the teenage girl who literally never even calls you when on trips. The girl in her room usually avoiding talking to you. Would like YOU to go through they're stuff and throw shit away.

Her excuse was, "it was originally just doing your bed but then it evolved" and "I only threw away stuff I knew was trash"

Stuff I knew was trash my fucking ass. YOU DONT TOUCH JACK SHIT THATS MINES WITHOUT MY GOD DAMN FUCKING PERMISSION, I don't care if you bought it for me I don't care if you birthed me and I don't care if you even fucking know me or not.

Idc if it's trash, I will admit that room had a lot of fucking shit in it that needed to get rid of but you don't fucking do that. SHE LOOKED THROUGH MY SKETCHBOOKS. Then she pulled out a painting I did for a pro folio and said "I want to hang this up" idc if it's a compliment. You. Don't. Touch. My. Stuff. Without. Permission.

Especially don't do all this shit, ruin my bed, oh and did I mention my bed is like 4 feet tall now cause of my mom's stupidity, and don't fucking yell at me for getting upset with you for messing up my bed, idc if it's broken, I was FINE with the bed

MY WHOLE POINT WAS DONT DO THIS ITS STUPID AND UNNECESSARY but NOOOOOO cause apparently since I'm just a teen I don't get stressed I get hormones. Only hormones. I told her I was stressed and she ARGUED WITH ME. After I got her to fucking apologize she said I have a bone to pick with YOU and I sat and said what is it to be mature but I was so fucking close to breaking, so when she mentioned shit about BLM not supporting the shit with Cubans. Of course I broke. This women decided that it was a good idea to fucking say that BLM aren't great because they aren't helping the Cubans.

Something I supported heavily, then my own fucking 'kind' against each other. :] I love humanity huh
Basically she said why aren't they helping us now huh?! And I broke and yelled at her telling her how stupid it was that she was bringing in stupid ass shit like this that have nothing to do with what was going on with me and her at the moment.

The thing that gets me upset about that is that idc who's helping who. If it's fucking wrong. It's wrong. I'm not saying my moms point is wrong I'm not saying it's right I'm saying it's stupid.

that is a sad fucking excuse to be racist. Every excuse to be racist is pathetic.

I don't want to shit on all the Cubans and shit, but they're so fucking religious and usually like to point out that someone looks different. Not all Cubans are the same but most of my family definitely is this sort of shit. They could be helping orphans find a home, but no having your own biological child is different(not shaming people who wanna birth a child just recalling an old conversation) you could save someone's life and stop them from committing suicide, or you can shame them for they're looks cause they have pimples, different hair, different skin and call it all off as a joke. I understand some people joke like that but...can't they at least be careful with who the fuck they're joking with??

I only now realized that this is almost 1000 words.

So imma stop it here (I've also been told by a few people that I'm scary when mad not sure if that counts in text I doubt but I do apologize if it catches you off guard with how much caps lock I was using, I've been told a few things recently like that I'm spoiled and slow and shit and it's just gotten to me with all the shit I'm dealing with, this rant was gonna be a lot longer if I didn't realize I was like over 900 words in)

Look just remember to take care of yourself please? Drink water, try eating something even if it's small, and remember that sleep is propaganda so the government can delay your flight more than three times