~ sad zone ~

~Sad zone rant 10~

These are piling up at this point-
I just feel gross and shit

Tw: mentions of self h@rm(I am not hurting myself don't worry)

[Rant begins now]

I'm not even sure how to start this rant.

I'm ranting here cause I don't want too many people to see this rant and I just feel so gross.

Recently all my moms wanted to do was change the way I look and it's just haunting me.

This new fucking hair is just a constant reminder that I'm not pretty and then my mom and the rest of my family keep talking about my teeth not being straight. Then to top it all off they keep putting makeup on me. As if buying me makeup wasn't enough of an insult.

I feel so ugly and disgusting all the time and I dunno how to escape it. Sometimes I really just want to hurt myself just for looking the way I do and it bothers me so fucking much.

I don't want to rant to people too much about it cause I don't want them to think that they'll be adding more shit to my situation by venting to me because them being upset isn't gonna make my self confidence worse or anything.

But at the same time this dumb ass shit is eating me up.

Worst part is that I'm in gym wearing a shirt without sleeves and I feel so uncomfortable. Then there's some dumb ass girls playing volleyball and the ball keeps almost hitting me.

Dude I just want these people to disappear for a bit. I just want to be able to shower without having a breakdown over hating the way I look. I wanna just be able to wear something I like and feel good about myself.

I feel like trash.

I don't understand how anyone can think I'm in any way attractive. I miss loving the way I look. I miss being able to take compliments without feeling like I'm a monster.

I swear this is the 7th time these girls almost hit me I'm going to fucking yell. THEY CAN LITERALLY MOVE AWAY FROM THE BLEACHERS. They even hit a girls crutches. They still won't move further from he bleachers.

I'm done ranting for now I'm tired. Drink water, eat something, and remember sleep is propaganda so the government can steal all your inspiration and ideas for stories your making.