~ sad zone ~

~Sad zone rant 9~

I just feel disgusting

Tw:sexual harassment, cat calling

[rant begins now]

I just feel horrible man. I wanted to cry all day and I couldn't...all because I don't want people to stare. I just can't stop thinking about yesterday and now everyone keeps hugging me and shit without warning and I'm just constantly feeling grossed out about everything about me.

All cause some dumb ass guy yelled "hey baby" from the bleachers when I was wearing shorts.

I've just felt so uncomfortable since that happened and I had a whole ass breakdown in front of my friends yesterday because of that like. I'm fucking tired of it. I'm tired of feeling grossed out just cause some guy wanted to be a creep.

And worst part is that it mostly happens in the gym. I literally went to the gym that day to avoid a discussion the hip kids were having since it was about sexual harassment and that's a topic I'm not always open to discussing for reasons.

Then immediately this guy starts cat calling me and my friend. Worst part is that we had a guy with us and they only stopped after he glared at them and shit.

Dude I tried my absolute best not to cry but by the time it turned into lunch time I couldn't and I just..

I was shaking and wouldn't show my face just cause of one dumb ass guy on the bleachers.

And my moms been touchy touchy recently and it bothers me so fucking much. I can't even tell her to stop either or I'll get yelled at or some dumb shit.

Then I have friends who I try telling to not touch me out of nowhere but they aren't paying attention when I try telling them. Then I have my fucking "friends" who just don't listen and it makes me so fucking pissed.

They touch my stuff without my permission. They touch me without warning and dude it's so scary like I know they only mean to show their affection with a hug but dude I almost thought I was being sexually harassed once and almost started crying.

That's just stuff I'm not comfortable with and they won't fucking bother to remember that then wonder why I'm not talking to them as much besides me telling them REPEATEDLY not to touch me or my stuff without permission.

I'm so tired of people sometimes and I just don't know how to just fucking get them to leave me alone.

I'm so glad today was quick cause I hated every second of it. I felt disgusting and all I wanted was to cry myself to sleep and I couldn't.

I'm gonna leave it here. I just want a break so I really hope you guys are doing better than me and remember to drink water, eat something, and sleep is propaganda so they can make you feel gross for something you can't control.