Crystal [Final Version]

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The following chapter contains explicit descriptions and illustrations of emotional distress and self-blame. The content includes detailed depictions of traumatic events and their aftermath. Reader discretion is advised.
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Monday, August 16th, 7:30 a.m.

Queen Elsa of Arendelle was a busy woman. Always clad in a tailored suit or tight pencil skirt and blouse and always in heels, she glided rather than walked through the castle, maids and advisors always at her sides. Most of her time was spent presiding over endless meetings, hosting lavish dinners, planning lavisher parties, and maintaining our small kingdom. The rest of her time was spent in her study, where she was still tethered to her work. She'd spend hours locked away pouring over trade maps, drafting letters, and signing documents while our people and their lives hummed on steadily behind her.

Elsa always muttered to herself as she worked. She'd recite every task she needed to complete and write emails and proposals in her head. Her more urgent thoughts would find their way to a meticulously maintained calendar. Sometimes, when I cared enough to listen, I'd catch her counting how many cargo ships were to pull into our port that day or how many foreign ministers and dignitaries would attend supper that night.

I was no stranger to how people came and went in our lives. The reality of sitting down to dinner every night with unfamiliar faces—men and women I likely would never see again—was ever familiar. The soulless conversations they directed my way only to improve their standing with the queen were oddly comforting. It was a dance of appearances, a game, but it was a game I knew well.

After dinner, they would all retire to a drawing room, creating chatter and music that permeated the air until sunrise. By day, they would chase after Queen Elsa like dogs, hoping to catch a sliver of her time. When she dismissed them, they turned to King Jack, who was often eager to oblige them when he wasn't at his wife's side or attending to his own duties.

The rest of the time, they would ride our horses, eat our food, and roam our gardens. They would take tours of our kingdom, buying wares and crafts they did not appreciate the true value of. They would stay until their business in Arendelle was finished, then leave, only to be replaced by a new guest.

I learned to tune out the noise. I learned how to avoid the routes our guests took, how to find solace in the quiet corners of the castle, and how to keep myself busy for hours.

To the untrained ear, it may have sounded like our kingdom was governed by chaos. Ruled by a queen who never stopped to rest, a king who entertained his guests with lavish excess, and visited by noble foreigners who behaved like frivolous, infatuated children, Arendelle sounded well on its way to a spectacular downfall.

That, however, couldn't have been further from the truth. Arendelle was a realm of tradition and perfect order, as Queen Elsa demanded all things to be. Her schedules were meticulously maintained; no one was afforded more time than she allotted. No palace staff dared walk the castle halls with a wrinkle in their uniform or a hair out of place, lest she see them.

Not a single trade deal or kingdom project failed.  Not a single ship bobbed out of time in the harbor. Not a single flower in the castle garden bent the other way, nor did a single tree grow more leaves than the others. For Queen Elsa, not even a single gust of wind blew harder than the rest. Yes, everything was perfect in Queen Elsa's life. Everything that is, except for me.

The back of my skull throbbed, a dull pounding reverberating through my head. I pressed a cool hand to the back of my head as the source of the pain continued to speak.

"First you wake up twenty minutes late, and now you can't even put yourself together decently." My mother sighed, exaspertated. She closed her open palms into fists and dropped them to her sides.

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