Lo Que Siento - C!Quackity x Reader

capítulo cinco - "I'd rather hold her hand than have a cool handshake."

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The feel of her hips against my hands was a memory that continued to cloud my mind, tonight was something else... I couldn't tell you a single detail of the venue, what music played or what the food even tasted like. All my senses and attention was directed towards her and her alone, she was like a goddess that needed to be worshiped and prayed to. I still remember the chilling shocks that were electrocuted through me every time her bare fingers even slightly grazed my bare skin, when her fingers locked in my hair from underneath the old beanie of mine. The way her eyes glittered and looked at me, what I adored most was how much she trusted me. From our whole time dancing, I had never actually done that with another woman, never before had I gotten that intense or had that much fun with another. There was something to her, something in that award-winning smile she brandished that made her so fucking addictive. I could get intoxicated on her scent and sent to some sort of crazy high when our bodies were squished together. It was unlike anything I ever dared feel before.

She was every last thing I loved in any woman, combined into one, and with the additive of removing the crazy, annoying and dumb traits. Y/n, I was certain now anyone who had the honour of carrying that name was certainly a godsend to everyone lucky enough to have them in their lives. I removed the navy blue beanie of mine, I admired the loose strings and wears and tears, call me crazy but this felt like my connection to heaven, with Y/n. I knew she was resting soundly in peace amongst the winged do-gooders that populated the clouds, but I wondered if I could let go of her.

I can't believe it, but I was considering settling down. However the read question to be posed was, could I? I sworn my heart to the girl that experienced all my hardships with me, when she disappeared, probably getting mugged or getting caught in gang crossfire, a part of me died with her. That part was the little boy in me that could love genuinely, share my feelings openly and not be so damn cynical... I was so different now, I had become so... Well evil you could say, that I even wondered of my beloved would just become revolted at what I let myself become. I became the exact person she would've hated, every time I think to much about it I realize how much I could be in the wrong. Before, I didn't see a reason to change my ways if the one person I would change for could never see it, but now? Sitting alone in my car watching the woman that somehow managed to capture and hold hostage of my heart enter her home and leave my line of view, seeing her made me question everything. I would always have room in my heart for Y/n, that was for sure and no one could ever take that away, but I had so much more love to give... Maybe even to, this Y/n?

Ugh, feelings were confusing. I still remember the crushing devastation when she didn't kiss me, the feeling of her chilled hands push against my firm chest as she denied my advances, that was something I of course had experienced before, on rarity though... But the shock it sent through me was smoking new, that was genuinely one of my best shots, I had really intended on sleeping with her tonight... But that obviously wasn't happening now. She made me question my abilities as a seducer, she made me question if I even wanted to seduce anymore. No... That was who I was, a key part of my identity was to fool around with women but here I was worrying over one when I could have the rest? It was a pain to see one girl as greater than the mass sea of dumb bimbos. Why did she have to be so perfect? Why did my feelings scream at me and mess me up? Why is she so different from the rest? Why did I have to care and fantasize so much about her?

I was so frustrated at my own back and forth, I wanted to have a definitive answer to how I felt... There was a spark there but I didn't know if I was emotionally ready to chase it.

I looked back to the open entrance doors, a warm yellow light seeping out of them as I knew she was safe in there and there wasn't any need to worry. It didn't calm my pounding heart though, with my desire to chase her and get that kiss I had been rejected to receive having a hold over me, with their demands controlling my heart and sending me on an internal turmoil and frenzy. I sighed, replacing my hat as I saw the manor doors close, it was time to go home I supposed... But something didn't sit right.