Always mine

21. Doubts

Jen's POV

As I kept thinking about what Alex said, Ben arrived.

I haven't decided yet, and I know Alex wants a response now, but this is harder than I thought.

Ben: Alex? What are you doing here?

Alex ignored Ben and looked at me deeply in the eyes.

Alex: So, Jen. What do you say?

Ben: Say what? Can someone explain to me what's going on?

Alex: Him or me, Jennifer?

Jen: Alex, I think you should go.

Alex: But, Jen, please. What about everything I said?

Jen: J-Just go. I'm sorry.

I couldn't say anything else. I have many mixed emotions about this, but I'm not sure if I should go back to Alex. I'm going to help him get out of jail, and that's it.

Hours passed after Alex left, and Ben ignored me all this time, and I don't know what to do. I choose him, and he gets mad?

Jen: Ben, please talk to me. I don't understand why are you made if I chose you-

Ben: But you doubted; that's what bothers me. Even you thinking of getting back together with Alex bothers me; it hurts me, Jennifer. If I didn't arrive at that moment, would you have chosen him?

Jen: Ben, you have to understand that it's not as simple as that. I loved Alex in the past, and he meant the world to me; it's not easy for me to take him away from my life just like that.

Ben: You didn't answer. Would you have chosen him?

Jen: If I'm honest with you, I don't know, and it's terrible, I know but, you don't know what he told me.

Ben: That he saved your life by helping Beau? Yeah, I know that. But still-

Jen: Wait, How do you know that?

Ben: Max told me a few days ago. He didn't want you to know, so he made me keep it a secret.

Jen: How does Max know?

Ben: Alex told him in the cabin. But that doesn't matter, Jen, you want him, he's the love of your life, and even if I don't want to admit it, you should go with him.

Jen: Ben, no. I don't want to break up with you.

Now we are both crying. I don't want to choose, but I have to. I love Ben, and I still love Alex.

Ben: I haven't talked to you since Alex left the house because since we started dating, I thought that maybe Alex did have some reasons to do that to you and that perhaps he was the one for you, and today, I confirmed that. He's the one, Jennifer; you love him. And if you truly loved me and wanted to stay with me, you wouldn't have doubted. I think that you should go back with him.

Jen: Ben, don't do this. Please don't break up with me.

Ben: You know it is the right thing to do, and I don't want to let you go, but I have to. Goodbye Jennifer, it was nice to be with you again these past few months.

Now I'm single, and I've lost the two men that I love.

I'm not sure if Alex would want to go back with me after I kicked him out of my house.

I know my break-up with Ben will not be easy to handle; it hurts me so much that we broke up, even if what he said was right.

But it hurts a lot not only because what he said was right, but because it's the same reason we broke up 17 years ago.

After thinking for several hours about what I should do, I decided I shouldn't waste more time and go get the love of my life back.