BALI SUN ☀ [✔]

[13] I'm nervous

After we got home from our adventurous outing, I headed straight for my room. I told Lisa that I wanted to take a shower and a nap before we went out to eat. What I hadn't considered, was that my annoying best friend shamelessly followed me into my room. 

Jisoo closed the door behind herself firmly before she turned around to face me with a shit eating grin.

"So, you have a date tonight?"

I rolled my eyes at her but blushed slightly nevertheless. "Chu, I need to take a shower, will you get out please?"

"Nope. You can take a shower while I stay out here talking to you."

"Are you serious?" I asked her disbelievingly. I loved her but sometimes she could be the most annoying person ever. 

"Yep! Girltalk, now!" she smirked at me. Her smirk wasn't half as good as Lisa's, but maybe I was kind of biased. I took my comfy clothes and walked into the bathroom that Jisoo and I had access to from both our rooms. 

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked her naively while I undressed and stepped inside the shower. I had left the door open, so Jisoo would still hear me. I heard her footsteps coming closer but she respected my privacy and didn't come into the bathroom. I heard a thump and guessed that she sat herself down on the floor against the wall next to the door because I heard her voice pretty clearly when she spoke again.

"About your first date in ages! Are you nervous?"

"Ha! So, you admit that it wasn't a date when I went shopping with her?" I challenged. I had to tease her at least a little bit. 

"Noooooo. I'm just saying that this obviously is an official date, isn't it?"

"We haven't used the word date, but... I think so, to be honest...." I contemplated. The water felt so good against my sticky skin.

"So, are you nervous?" 

Was I nervous? A little bit, yes. I didn't know why though. Lisa wasn't a stranger anymore. I felt like I knew her since forever even though in reality I didn't. I felt safe with her. I felt like I could be myself with her.  Also there was no real pressure to confess things since we had already drunkenly gotten that out of the way. We knew both of us felt something and we wanted to explore what it was. At least that's what I thought.

"Maybe, a tiny bit..." I admitted. "I still don't know where this is gonna go..."

That was it, wasn't it. We haven't talked about what exactly it was, that was between us. Did I see this going somewhere? Did she? I really wasn't familiar with this casual fling thing. I wasn't used to having no labels. 

Maybe I should ask her about it. But I didn't know if I could muster up the courage or not.

"I'm guessing it's going into her bed at some point." Jisoo snickered outside my door. 

I huffed out loudly. "Do you always have to say stuff like that? Seriously, I'd throw a towel at you right now if I could!"

"Calm down Jendeukie! I'm just teasing!" she laughed lightly. "But, for real, please do it in her room, not yours, so I won't hear anything through the wall!"

I really wanted to throw things at her. Anything! I grabbed my almost empty shower gel bottle, opened the shower door and threw it out the door. Just for emphasis. I knew it would never hit her. Jisoo only laughed louder as the bottle slithered past her into my bedroom.

"You need that back?" she called, still snickering. I didn't answer her. I wanted to be mad at her for being so blunt and teasing me all the time but I knew I needed to talk to her. About the definite insecurities I felt about possibly being with Lisa. 

"It's the first time I'm actually going out with her. There's not going to be any doing it so soon!" I fired back without any warning. I heard Jisoo shuffle. 

"But you're open to the possibility?" Her voice was even closer now. She was talking serious now. The teasing had subsided.

"I guess, yes... I mean... she's so hot and so sweet at the same time... and I really like her. I just..." I trailed off because what I was going to say next sounded so pathetic in my head.

"You just what...?" Jisoo asked tentatively.

"I... Uhmpff" I audibly huffed out air before I continued, while conditioning my hair. "Everytime you make a teasing comment like that... you know... about sex, I... I just feel like... a virgin all over again. Even though I'm not! But I haven't been in a same sex relationship before, so I basically have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Jen... I know this might seem scary to you and it gets your pretty head into overdrive, but... don't overthink it! Do whatever feels comfortable with her and don't do anything that doesn't. And if you ask me, I'm guessing you don't have to worry because Lisa will know exactly what she's doing. So my advice here is, don't think too much and enjoy!"

"Don't think too much..." I mimicked her voice "easy for you to say!"

"I can't tell you anything else... And like you said, you're only going out for the very first time, you don't have to end up in bed together tonight if you're not ready."

The thought about Lisa kissing and undressing me, was kind of hot, I had to admit. It was definitely something I could fantasize about but the real thing still scared me just the tiniest bit. I didn't want to embarrass myself. 

"I know..." I told her.

But we were far from that anyway, so I pushed the thoughts away. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. 

"Make yourself useful and find me something nice to wear for later." I smiled at Jisoo softly as I walked past her sitting on my floor. She jumped up energetically at that and began to raid the closet. Yes, I have emptied my suitcase and actually hung my clothes up. Jisoo had a good sense of fashion, so I let her get to work while I laid down on my bed, dressed in snuggly shorts and a top, watching her. 

"She makes me feel so safe, you know..." I suddenly blurted out to my friend, thinking about the way Lisa had unconditionally protected me today when I almost had a monkey induced panic attack.

Jisoo smiled at me. "She really is very sweet with you. One of the reasons I think she's good for you."

"I really have the biggest crush on her!" I wasn't even ashamed of admitting that so easily anymore. 

"Yeah, no shit you little Mandu!" Jisoo chuckled, holding up a pair of high waisted shorts. "What do you think? With one of your nicer white tops? Or rather the stretchy black dress with your light jean jacket?"

My eyes lit up at her mentioning the dress. "Dress and jean jacket! Definitely! And I can wear my white tennis shoes and the necklaces I bought the other day."

"Perfect!" Jisoo rummaged through the closet to lay everything out on my bed. "Lisa won't know what hit her! You look so hot in that dress! But still casual enough."

"Thanks Chu." I went over and kissed her cheek. 

"Save it for lovergirl!"

I pushed her shoulder harshly for that comment but Jisoo just dodged out of the way, giggling. 

What would I do without my Chikin?

*

Author: Just a little pre-date chapter ;) I thought we needed a bit more of Jisoo