Vince

Epilogue

We never got there.

After a few days of waiting for any kind of response, Hannah decided that my relationship with Vince was more important. She told me we were best as friends and I believed her.

I started going to therapy. My therapist helped me realize I had started attaching myself to people with unrealistic expectations because I was unwilling to let go of anyone. I was sure a lot of it came from my brothers death but it turns out a ton is just other trauma I didn't realize I had.

I finally went back to my apartment and confronted the scene before me. Hannah spent a few days deep cleaning the place but the majority of it remained the same. I had a lot of difficultly shoving my foot through the threshold of the door, but I managed.

The dust froze in the air and I held my breath as if the oxygen I stole would break the silence in a crippling way. In the end, I needed to breathe eventually. I've been taking it one step at a time. One slow, shaky step at a time.

I rearranged the living room and got rid of any furniture with sharp corners but otherwise I'd say I'm handling the changes pretty well. I have nightmares sometimes but most of the time I'm too exhausted to stay awake and I fall back asleep quickly afterward.

I did as most women do in times of stress and cut my hair. I thought about dyeing it but I can never pick a color and I talk myself out of it every time. I feel like a different person. Maybe I am different. Maybe I'm no different at all.

I told Vince that I was sorry I made him feel the way I did for so long and that I cared about him very much. I wanted him to know I was going to take some time to get myself right and I was going to contact him when I felt I was good enough for him. That day feels really far away.

Hannah decided one day that she wanted to see a doctor and get her arm fixed after all this time. Every now and then she hits me with her cast talking with her hands and I tell her it's no big deal but my bruises give me away instantly. Hannah and I never talk about the night we shared.

Kaleb stops by the apartment every now and then. Having him around is probably when I laugh the most. I've gotten quieter after everything that's happened. It's nice to be able to laugh every now and then.

Hannah guilted me into going out with her one night because she needed a designated driver. We went to a club I could've sworn I recognized. Kaleb said he would meet us there which was weird because he loved walking us anywhere saying, "I look like a god walking with two beautiful ladies on my arms."

I took a seat at the bar and ignored Hannah immediately becoming engulfed by the crowd. I played with the straw in my drink and spent what felt like ages in my own head. Something pulled me out of my haze and I turned my chair around to look into the crowd.

I wasn't sure if I felt his energy or if I just knew he was there, but I made eye contact with him immediately. I couldn't pull my eyes away. It seemed like he was in the same trance. People moved in front of him but we stayed there, unblinking.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as he took a step closer. He moved like he was in slow motion. His hair was perfect as usual and he wore casual clothes but made them look designer. I could hear the pounding of the music dull in comparison to the blood rushing through my ears.

He was suddenly right in front of me. I could suddenly breathe. My lungs filled but too quickly. My chest rose and fell like a jackhammer. I was sure if my breaths were any deeper my chest could touch his.

We spoke at the same time.

"I was wrong." I said. "I miss you." He said.

"I'm really sorry." I said. "I want you back." He said.