Vince

Fearful

The cold air was refreshing after being surrounded by warm bodies. Vince pulled us away from the doors and to a quieter area. I wait for him to collect his thoughts and yell at me like he planned to do.

"I don't like how things are right now."

He hadn't yelled. He had been eerily calm.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "What do you want me to say?"

"I feel like I'm not as important to you as David is because you act like he's a sure thing and I'm going to fuck this up."

I ran my fingers through my hair, "I don't think you're going to fuck this up. I think I am."

Vince grabbed my wrists and held them close to his body, "Why?"

"Because things with you have been too good and I'm waiting for the bad to come," I found myself whispering.

Vince lowered his eyebrows and let go of my arms. He stepped back a foot.

"So you're avoiding making things serious between us because I've been too good to you?"

"No." I said, aggravation warning my skin, "I'm avoiding it because I'm not comfortable with what you do for a living and I'm trying to see if I can get comfortable enough to be with you despite it."

Vince scratched his eyebrow, "I like you, but I'm not going to be someone else to be with you. You know what I do and it's what I plan on doing."

"And I support you! I think it's great that you're good at your job and you enjoy doing it because a lot of people don't get that. What I can't get around is the feeling of anger that I get when I think about you being with someone else."

Vince lowered his voice, "How are you going to feel if this doesn't work out and you see me with someone else anyway? How are you going to feel if I actually have feelings for them, which is something I don't have for my coworkers?"

I felt my throat tighten as I replied, "Crushed."

Vince put his forehead against mine and I shut my eyes tightly.

"I want to be with you, but I don't want to be with you like this. I don't want to have to reign in my affection for you or control what I say around everyone," Vince admit.

"No one asked you to do that," I whispered.

"Because David would be real cool if I kissed you in front of him." 

Vince stood straight up and pointed his face towards the sky. I took his hand and placed it flat against my chest, right where my heart should be.

"Please just give me some time."

"I don't have time Rhia. Right now I'm being someone I'm not and I can't keep doing it. I don't like how I feel."

"Vince, please."

He removed his hand from my chest and dropped it at his side, "We should go back inside."

I let the emptiness consume my body. An ache began to form in my chest that made it difficult to breathe. I could feel tears forming behind my eyes but I refused to cry. Not here.

I walked ahead, finding Hannah also outside. I pulled her in my arms before I had realized she had been crying.

"What's going on?" I spoke into her hair.

"Julian's here, he's with someone else," Hannah said between sobs.

Kaleb found us outside and wrapped his arms around the both of us. He offered to drive us home and I nodded, adjusting Hannah so we could walk but I could still hold her as tightly as I felt she needed.