Vince

Are You The One

Waking up from the deepest and yet restless sleep I'd ever had was a choice just as conflicting. I knew I'd have to make a decision. I also knew I wouldn't have to do it right away if I tried to force myself back to sleep. The waves of sleep couldn't drag me under, and I felt the pull of life torture me awake.

My eyelids were heavy enough to crush an entire city but the warmth I felt across my body was keeping me from drifting. As conscious returned, I realized the warmth spreading over my skin was from Hannah's body, draped over mine.

Her arm was laid across my chest and her nose tickled my neck. I felt my breath catch as I worried the thudding of my heart could wake her. I was certain the thudding would wake the neighborhood. In my dreamlike state I hadn't noticed the thudding was actually knocking.

"Sorry if I'm waking you," Vince's voice came from behind the door, "I'm going to make breakfast."

In my panic, I quickly lifted Hannah's arm to remove it from my chest and scurried out from under it, dropping it back in its place. My legs couldn't move fast enough to get me out of the bedroom and into the adjoined bathroom. In my rush I had to remember not to slam the door shut.

I looked at myself in the mirror. A month ago I looked like an entirely different person. I ran my fingers over my cheekbones, down my jawline, around my eyes. I felt my skin under my fingertips and wondered who I was and what I wanted. My skin wasn't chatty enough.

I gently opened the door and walked out of the bathroom, sneaking over to the other side of the room to exit it. I made my way down the hall to the kitchen where I saw Vince standing. With his back towards me, I wasn't sure he knew I entered the room.

His broad shoulders flexed as he moved his large arms. His focus was entirely on his task, he didn't even notice my footsteps. I walked a little closer, not sure where to begin. I knew I needed to tell him. I knew he needed to know.

"Vince," I called out. My voice sounded like the drop of a penny in a busy subway corridor, lost.

I saw his body tense for a split second and I knew he wasn't aware I was in the room. He turned around with a huge smile on his face, his lips stretched ear to ear. I felt warmth bubble up in my chest that was replaced just as quickly with the sickening humidity of grief.

He seemed to notice my mood even though I was trying my best to hide it. His smile dimmed on his lips and concern grew on his eyebrows. I sighed and played with my fingertips waiting for the man to make a choice. I closed my heavy eyes and took solace in the comfort that I knew wouldn't return.

"I'm sorry," I spoke quietly, but Vince knew. It was written all over my face.

"You're not going to pick me," Vince's face fell so deeply I felt like I needed to lunge to grab for it.

"No!" I blurt out, "I just need to be honest with you before I make it official."

Vince breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, well that's fine. What's on your mind?"

I couldn't force the words to come out with his eyes locked on me, looking deeply into me. I looked at the ground.

"I had sex with Hannah."

I kept my eyes down, worried I would look up to see a face filled with hurt.

"Okay."

My eyes shot up. Vince's face was hesitant, but nowhere near close to what I expected.

"You're," I paused, "Not upset?"