Letters [COMPLETED]

Chapter 23 - The 40th & 200th

IRENE

Everything feels surreal to me. There are times I think I am hallucinating. Yes, I can hear, feel and see Lisa. The two-week stay here seemed too short. But everything's worth it and productive. I get to have time with her. We did play UNO cards, Jenga and blop earlier. After we took our heavy lunch we did get back to the cabin to take some rest while cuddling with each other. Our sweetness towards each other isn't a new thing to us except I am more vocal saying I love you to Lisa. I think I haven't told her enough. She would just go shy and would give me a soft kiss on my forehead.

She invited me to go out for a bit to watch the islands. We're sitting side by side on the yacht's deck as it sails through the eastern part of Caribbean Island. We are heading to Barbados. This vacation is like a dream come true. I can't help but gush over her whenever she caught me staring at her.

"What? You've been ogling at me for a bit long. I felt like melting already." Lisa chuckled then focus sipping on her cocktail drinks.

"Nothing, I just thought you're beautiful and I appreciate your beauty even more." I blurted out.

"Are you crushing on me?" Lisa teased and put her drinks back on the tray.

"I do!" I boldly said. I don't know where my courage came from.

Lisa snapped and smiled widely at me, "Wow!!!"

"Don't ask, I just do."

"Alright." She signaled her lips are zip. I snaked my arms around her waist as we both contentedly watching the spectacular view of the sunset from the deck. I leaned my head closer to her chest. I am glad I am with her. Each passing moment is gold. "What are you thinking?" She stirred and tried to read my mind.

"I don't want to go back," I said with all honesty.

"Why?"

"It feels like I am going to lose you again if I go back." Lisa went quiet and in deep thoughts. I think I made her feel guilty. "Hey, I didn't mean anything by that. I'm so sorry. It was stupid to tell that. I just love it here. Everything is perfect. The entire trip was amazing and I want to keep traveling with you." I was fidgeting ashamed of my selfishness.

"I'm sorry if we were not able to do something like this before." She apologized. My heart is crushed as I see how sad she is.

"It's alright, we were both busy in college and I don't blame you, Lalice" I assured her.

"Baechu, are you sure you'll be okay?"

I snorted, "Of course not but do I have a choice?" I weakly smiled at her.

She cupped my face, "You'll be okay soon. Just hang on."

"But I can't let go of you. I just can't Lalice. I wasn't prepared to face life alone. Nobody told me that it would be this hard. I wish it was just a bad dream and this one is my reality. But it happened and it's all real."

She hugged me tightly and stroked my back to calm me down.

"You're like a baby. But behind that baby face, I know you're a tough woman. If I could only trade my soul to the devil to let me stay then I have done that already. But no, God has a better plan for us. It was my purpose I met a stunning girl nearby Suho oppa's coffee shop. Then by a chance you and your mother were offered a ride. Imagine if those didn't happen? I can never meet such a wonderful person like you. You gave meaning to my life. Before I met you I was ready to leave any moment. I didn't care anymore because the moment I was diagnosed with a rare heart disease I knew my life was over then. But after knowing you, I did appreciate how wonderful life was. I found a sense of purpose because of you, Baechu. I was also unprepared to leave you. I knew something like this would happen and you're the one I was worried about most. Believe me when I say I am always with you. Maybe not physically but you would feel my presence everywhere." She tapped my nose gently. And I just continued to listen to her.