Purest Love (Lan Zhan POV)

My first kiss

I return back to cloud recess before the closing time. The way back was not smooth as I met a fierce corpse. I was not paying attention to my surrounding deep in thought that I would have lost my life today. It would have been good if it happened. Maybe I would have met him after death.

"I heard you went by yourself and left the disciples alone," brother said as he came out of nowhere. "I did," I nod as I take my steps towards the jingshi. Brother following me silently, he sighs deeply. I didn't talk and he again sighed.

"It's been four years since Wei gongzi died, Wangji. No one can find his body nor his soul. What are you trying to do?," he asks in mild frustration. I look at him from the corner of my eyes. He looks distressed. I look down and question myself. What am I doing?

"Not losing hope," I say simply. That's what I am trying to do. To not lose hope. He looks surprised by my answer but didn't get the chance to reply. "Goodnight brother," I tell him before I walk into my room. Not surprised seeing a-yuan there, I just moved to sit on my bed.

"Hanguang jun," he call me. This indeed surprised me. "Did uncle spoke to you?" I asked and he nods slowly. "He talked about sect rules in the class but after he made me write sect rules once as a punishment for calling you dad, yelling and running in the cloud recess," he finished as he looks at the ground. 

"Our clan follows rules very strictly. Follow what uncle says. Grow quickly," I tell him as I pat his head again. He nods his head as he looks up to me. "Do you want to learn inquiry?" I ask him which made his face lit up. "Yes, yes, yes, yes," he says excitedly as he jumps onto my bed.

"Behave," with one word he went down to his own cot. "When you are ten years old, I won't allow you into this room even if you have nightmares. Fight them and win," I tell him as I pick up the zither and play to him softly. I taught him the notes and bought him a small zither for practice. He learns it with great concentration which somewhat makes me proud.

Today, if I would have died, and a-yuan if he regains his memories due to his nightmares, he would have been so lost. To think a-yuan with a lost expression is depressing. "Go to your room. Sleep. Practice tomorrow," I tell him. "Okay hanguang jun" he says as he runs towards his room.

It will be difficult for me to get used to him calling me like that, he seems to be so in ease with it. I lie down as I think about the damsel I met earlier and the flower she gave.

******

During the night-hunt at phoenix mountain, I have had my first kiss. With our sect entrance with many other sect, flowers were being tossed by maidens to welcome us. Though is stopped after a while, a lone red flower fall on my head. I turn around to catch the culprit and it is none other than Wei Wuxian. When he pretends as if he didn't do it, I had no choice but to turn around as if nothing happened. 

"Lan Zhan, your forehead ribbon is slanted," he says so happily with no apparent reason. Trusting his words I raised my hand to correct it only to know that I have been fooled. 

"Shameless," I flick my sleeve as I walk ahead hearing his contagious laugh. But after sometime when we were standing for the night hunt to start, Wei Ying again says that my ribbon is crooked. Thinking that he is fooling around as usual, I pay him no mind. But who would have expected him to directly clutch my ribbon resulting it to be removed. Seeing him not only removing it but clutching it so tightly made me lose control but brother interrupts.

I pluck out my ribbon from his tight fist, trying to calm myself. "Lan Zhan, who would have thought you can get so riled up just without your forehead ribbon. You almost seemed normal to me. You should do without your forehead ribbon I say. Not only did you lose control but you are so attractive now," he says it in a whisper in a teasing tone.

Its been a while since he teased me, so I didn't do much except throwing a 'shameless' at him again which made him laugh. When the start was smooth, a unknown character taunts Wei Ying in proving his archery skills, which he did so easily making the unknown character upset. "Lan Zhan, you should have given me your ribbon for support," he taunts making me inwardly smile.

When the character whose name now I know as Jin Zixun, challenges Wei Ying to keep the blindfold through out the night-hunt, he accepts the challenge without a thought. Did Jin Zixun really doesn't know that Wei Ying cultivation method has changed and this challenge is not even a challenge for Wei Ying? People are really ignorant.

I go behind Wei Ying maintaining a safe distance, in case he needs help. I keep my foot steps light, making it seem as though I am flying. Atleast he didn't notice me yet. He takes a rest on a tree. He looks like the king of this forest. He starts playing his flute and I know instantly that his catch of preys will be the largest out of all. I just stand there watching him play flute until he stops and starts taking rest.

I don't know what took over me, but I move as stealthily as possible and hold his arm, restricting his movement. I press myself on him trapping him between my body and the tree. Without much thought, I plant my lips on him slowly. When he didn't resist but still in the shocked state, with my trembling lips I start moving as I use my tongue to explore his mouth. After the initial shock he responds hesitantly. When I am happy with what I got, I bite his lips before I release him and without any sound I leaped away. 

Remembering his disheveled expression and swollen lips, and angry at myself for breaking the sect rules I slashed the tree right in front of me. 

"Lan Zhan, are you okay?" I didn't reply which made him think I am not okay. He tries to grab my pulse but I didn't let him. "Are you really okay?" after composing myself I said a small "yes".

"Have you kissed anyone?" he asks randomly. I didn't reply. "Ofcourse not. I can't imagine you initiating a kiss nor can I imagine you kissing someone," he answers his own question. If only you know.

"Have you?" I ask, and I regret it immensely. He starts bragging about his kissing skills making me a little angry, but I managed.