Have You Ever Seen The Rain? (Tate Langdon Fanfiction)

Dreams - chapter 17

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone
Setting fire to our insides for fun
To distract our hearts from ever missing them
But I'm forever missing him

***

I don't want to touch him. I feel like if i do, he will break in a million pieces. He looks fragile. His skin is glowing under the shy rays of sun. My body feels tired, only my gaze stays on him, like he will disappear if i blink for a second.

I feel like i can sink into the thin mattress of his bed. I feel comfortable and secure, like under a trance.

"You look so...real." I whisper and raise my hand slightly, finally getting the courage to graze his cheek with my fingertips.

I sigh deeply, a simple touch activating all of my senses.

He grabs my wrist gently, and guides my hand to cup his whole cheek. He caresses my hand with his thumb, while his eyes are lost in mine.

"You look so beautiful." He says with a grave voice.

I smile at his words, then chuckle at our situation.

"You talk too slow." I tell him and laugh once more.

"No, you talk slow." He laughs at me and i shake my head.

His words and his laugh echo in my head. The whole conversation proceeds slowly. For a sober person, we must look insane. But i feel like i can say anything. I don't want to move from the bed, my body isn't even responding. My head is empty, and i suddenly feel...happy.

"What did we even take?" I ask, my smile never disappearing from my lips.

"I don't know...molly maybe? We combined a lot of stuff." He says and i take my hand away from his grasp.

"My mom would be so disappointed." I close my eyes and take a deep breath, finally realizing what i just did.

"It's ok. Don't think about that right now. You're here, with me. That's all that matters." I straighten my back as I sit up straight in his bed. He joins me, putting an arm protectively around my shoulders. I rest my head on his shoulder, trying to focus on the moment, like he said.

"What are we going to do?" I ask, not really expecting an answer.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what are we going to do from now on? Am I just going to visit you from time to time?"

"I don't think that's a long-term solution." He shrugs.

"Then what do you propose?" I raise my head and look at him.

He looks at me without saying anything. He makes eye contact, and from his eyes i can tell that there is something he can't reveal to me yet. He is holding himself back, like he doesn't want to ruin the moment with what he wants to say.

"We'll decide more later. That is an important decision that we have to make when we aren't high." I nod slowly, resting my head on him again. It feels like we have so much to talk about, but it never is a good time. We both think that by postponing our conversation, we can lengthen the time we spend together without fighting or having to reach for a compromise.

I kiss his neck and rest my chin on his shoulder. He doesn't move while i inhale and exhale, closing my eyes and enjoying the heat and the scent of his body.

"I had so many dreams for us Tate." I say in his ear with my eyes still closed. Then i pause.

He doesn't look at me, but stares emotionless ahead of him. He blinks a couple of times, then stands up slowly and heads over to the window. He opens it, resting on his elbows.