Have You Ever Seen The Rain? (Tate Langdon Fanfiction)

What? - chapter 20

I have this dream that I'm hitting my dad with a baseball bat

And he is screaming and crying for help

And maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him

Than it ever did protecting myself

And I believe that yeah, dad, no one is perfect

But I believe that you were pushing your luck

***

Dark hair, dark eyes, that I've dreamed of many times before, now staring at me in this dimly lit room.

Here he is, right in front of me, the man that I've grown to despise. His white knuckles are on the table that he is sitting at. I notice that he isn't alone at the table.

Why is he here? And why did he finally choose to come here right now, when my mind is thinking about something else, someone else?

I am tired. Not only of seeing his face, i am tired in general. That is why, when i see him, something in me clicks.

Whatever he wants to do or say tonight, he isn't going to get the satisfaction of me being civil with him.

I can't even begin to describe how i feel. I came home after seeing Zoey and Diana, the only people that i haven't seen in a while and i actually wanted to meet. This night was far from perfect -they were still upset, but at least i got to feel, even for a short amount of time, like everything is fine, and life is like it used to be.

I felt lonely during my walk, but at least i felt content that my two best friends will forgive me, and that I'm on the right path to making things good. Even if the worst is yet to come, i feel like at least i have some people by my side in this whole thunderstorm of emotions and unsolved problems.

I shouldn't have walked alone this late at night, but i wasn't scared. I didn't even need to clear my head, it was already empty. I tried to enjoy that feeling to the best of my abilities.

I did see a car in front of my house, a car so foreign yet so familiar, and i immediately knew who it belonged to.

I sat in front of my house for a good few minutes, contemplating whether i should enter, sneak in or run away. The last option seemed like the best one.

But when anger filled my senses, i decided that i just have to get this over with. He obviously is here to talk. If he isn't, he wouldn't have came with his car. It means that he is sober.

No matter how angry i am and how much i want to just burst through the door and yell at my father, i still wait patiently in front of my house. I don't know what i am waiting for, but i still need to gather all my strength before making any step forward.

My house- a place that used to bring me comfort, but now i just feel obligated to return to it. I don't really want to be here, but i am. Only for my mother.

I don't want to be at Tate's house either. I need a break from that place.

For the first time, i truly fee like i don't know my place in the world. I don't know where and with who i am supposed to be. Which only means one thing.

That my place isn't even here anymore.

I look up at the sky, then at my house and its old faded color, like it is the last time i am going to truly look at it.

And i barely remember the day that me and Tate were standing in front of this house, making up a lame plan to sneak him inside. And then he fell asleep on my bed. And i remember the unknown butterflies that i got when i realized that this boy was there, with me, in my room.