Say The Word

Chapter 5- Everyone, Chill!

"What are you doing here?" I whispered as she held onto to one of the shelves to catch her breath.

"You didn't even tell me anything about going out with him," she managed to gasp out.

"I did not have the chance, what do you want me to do? Tell you when he was near us?"

"Look, I just want to make sure that things are fine and not going in a weird direction."

I looked at her, perplexed. "What?"

"Look, I kinda made things weird between us, Cebby and I. It wasn't intentional, I swear. Just that, I want him back as a friend, alright?"

"Okay, I get it, you want him back as a friend," I grabbed her cold hands.

"Thank you so much. What are you doing here with him anyway?"

"You don't have to answer that," a hand forcefully pulled me back by my shoulder, separating me from Elly. "The fuck are you doing here, Elmana? We're over and now you want to fuck with my new buddy here? Isn't toying with me enough already?"

Ceb's back blocked most of my view; his face was not visible at all. Yet, his voice was so menacing, shoppers from either ends of the racks left, not wanting to potentially get in his way. "Get the fuck away from my friend, attention whore. Don't you ever show your face in front of me again, I'm done with you. Do your shit somewhere else."

"Let's go," he grabbed me by my arm once again, just like he had after school, just rougher, hurting my arm.

Visibly frustrated and angered, he quickened his pace back to our trolley, avoiding the shoppers from every aisle.

"What was that back there?" he asked as we came to a stop. "Holding her hand like that and stuff... You two aren't dating are you? Because if you are, I hope you weren't guilt tripped into it. And, I would highly suggest you to cut ties with her; she's no good, just saying."

Okay, more confusion. "No. we aren't going out. I just saw her on the way back to the bathroom, and decided to say hi. Why were you there?"

And then we have more lies. Good job, Vastel.

"Nothing, just got a little worried," he muttered under his breath, barely audible.

"What?" I know, I heard him but I wanted him to say it again.

"I said, nothing, just got there, little wuss," he snapped back.

Jesus, chill.

He took the trolley, pointing into it, "Anyway, I got your stupid sauce. We can go now."

Did he just act like nothing happened and went on shopping even though I was the one who was supposed to be shopping? Yes, he did.

▪▫▪▫▪

"Arrête, we're done for today. I'm going to be late for work, so pay the hell up," he said, handing me my bags of heavy groceries.

"Uhm, can I pay you tomorrow? My hands are kind of full now," I tried to look at him over the pile of ingredients.

"Sure, then you have to pay me extra, 'cuz interest."

"I'm sorry, okay? I really can't pay you right now."

"Don't worry, you easy bake oven, I was just joking," he gave me a teasing smirk. "But, under one condition."

Okay, wait, easy back oven? That was...an oddly creative insult.

The corners of his mouth turned down, and he got really close to me, "Do not go near that fucking imbecile again, alright?"

I froze up. Things were not looking great. I nodded, it was the only way to not start any conflict was to obey him (Yeah, I leaned this from home, don't ask, don't learn this either.).

"Good," he gave me a little smile. "I gotta go now, remember, the thyme we spent together was four hours, don't forget the money, ciao."

He left me there, on the street, with a handful of heavy tote bags and an awful pun in the sunset, as he walked away with his hands in his pockets.

That was...some good progress.

▪▫▪▫▪

Same quiet neighbourhood for the past month, same squeaky old gate, but just me fumbling around with the keys as I tried to transfer multiple bags to one hand, nothing seemed to have changed but the thoughts in my head.

Papa was still not back in the house, like always. I was once again, alone, only accompanied by ingredients to make food and my school books. However, my head, for once, was not just swarming with ideas for what dish to make, it was now filled with the conversations from earlier.

My shoes hitting the floor, the bags being lightly put onto the ground, the heavy door closing, were the only sounds that echoed the house.

Once again, the routine starts: Putting away the freshly bought things, folding and placing the reusable bags to where they were before, start cooking.

I was on auto-pilot mode again. The scene of Cebario cursing Elly out still played in my head as I poured papa's portion of dinner into a sectioned container. Why was Elly still so willing to want him back as a friend anyway? He was not nice to her at all. In fact, he was not nice to anyone. Yet, he seemed so lonely. He was alone, yes, but he seemed incredibly unhappy. Every time he smiled at me, it did not feel like he meant it, until just now, when he called me an easy bake oven (Whatever that was. Yes, I'm still sort of not over it.), it felt slightly more genuine than the others.

I quietly plated my ham sandwich and baked beans, taking the finished product out to the marble dining table, placing it beside my steaming chicken soup.

What if Vati was also like Cebario? What if the smiles he gave me were also lies? Did I miss the signs?

My mind caught me off guard, but it had a point. What if Vati did smile at me just because he had to? Was it just because I was considered as his child? How could I have been so stupid? Was it because he had always smiled at me like that, so it felt real? How did I tell all Cebario's smiles were faked and I could not even tell that Vati, someone so close to me, was smiling at me like that?

I looked at my dinner; it was growing cold with every growing second. My mouth did not feel like chewing, nor did my stomach feel like receiving all of a sudden. My head was a mess, and I did not want to burden my body any further.

Didn't I promise myself to stop thinking about Vati?

Another broken promise, but it was me who broke it that time.