Say The Word

Chapter 15- Ah, Yes, As One Might Say 'CRY!'

"Don't worry, Vastel! Nothing's venomous, not in this place, at least," Dr. Faeser pulled a pair of latex gloves on to her hands. "You kids look around on your own; I gotta go back to work now. Miss Elmana, try not to poison your friend here on accident by taking him into random greenhouses."

What on Earth? (Trust me, I had no idea why they had poisonous plants in the first place, I just rolled along with it.)

"I got it, I got it, chill. I won't poison anyone, you worry too much," Elly rolled her eyes, turning away from her plants. She took off her gloves, disposing them in a bin nearby. "I think you should trust me a little more, doc. I'm leaving now though, all your nagging came a little too late."

"I'm also taking Vastel with me, adios," she proceeded to walk out of the place, linking her arm to mine.

"You could have stayed a little longer, I would not mind," I said; when we pushed pass the glass door.

"I'm not exactly a big fan of listening to her babbling with you around, honestly. I can guarantee you, you would have wished we never even step foot into that place. I'm curious, what do you think of my plants?"

The images of the flowers became cloudier the more I tried to remember it. Her seemingly anticipating stare did not help with the process of remembering (Yes, I was panicking; we do not talk about it.).

"They are pretty cool; I have not seen any species like it. Are you sure you are asking the right person? I have very little experience with flowers," I made something up, giving up finding the word to describe it, hoping that she would start talking about something else. What she was introducing me to was very interesting, just not to me, I was not particularly fond of plants.

"I just wanted to show off one of the few things I'm very proud of, so it's fine if you aren't a specialist in plants."

"Thank you for sharing it with me. It's cool that you have an actual professional working alongside you, must be nice."

"Faeser? I wouldn't call it 'working alongside', more like she tolerates me. I think we can do one last thing before you go home," she led me around the enormous stony building, going straight to the front yard we just came from, passing at least a dozen maids on the way. (We could have just skipped going inside? Yeah, we could have done that and I have no idea why we did not just do that. Maybe she was trying to show off the fact that she did not have to open doors on her own? Who knows.)

"I can swear that this is much more fun than walking back home, let's go," she pointed to the carriage we saw at the front gate. I, of course, had no choice but to follow her with our arms still linked, not moving was like choosing death.

"Why are we going on a carriage again?" I questioned, unable to understand her actions.

"I just wanted to, and also because you're already here, might as well go for a ride while you get home before they return the horses to the stables."

Yes, she had stables; which was insane because that just seemed like an extra side thing people with a bunch of time on their hands would do.

I was asked to give my address to her coachman before hoping up to be with Elly. The curtains were closed, only a small amount of orange light shone into the box.

A question that had been crawling at the back of my mind finally came out. "So, Elly, why do you even go to our school? It's clear that you could just go anywhere you want."

It was not like I did not have the answer or, well, guessed the answer. You could say I wanted to confirm it.

"I mean, it's obvious. I'll still say it, in case you don't see it. I go there because of Cebby. I just wanted to go the same school as he does."

Lord, forgive me for I had to misgender someone. "Ah, I see. How did you know him?"

"I guess you could say that it had something to do with our parents, we were family friends. I don't know what happened, they just stopped coming to our social events and they also moved away. I'm going to be honest, that was when I felt Cebby slowly closing off. I did not want to just lose that one person who didn't care about what my family had, we were fourteen, and I was dumb."

"You are not dumb, Elly, you just did not want to lose a precious friend." I place my hand on her shoulder.

"I can't defend myself in this case; you shouldn't try to justify it either, honestly. I want to go back in time and slap the hell out of myself but I can't, so I might as well try to fix this mess, you know?"

I nodded. I wished Ceb could see all the effort she was putting into changing herself. Though, I could not blame them either.

The carriage was really out of place in the nearly empty streets, just like how I was when I was at Elly's place. Somehow inside this out-of-place carriage, I felt a little closer to both Ceb and Elly.

▪▫▪▫▪

Dinner was me eating alone again. Well, not really, considering my thoughts never stopped even when I had stopped chewing. Endless torture from my mind was very much expected after the little conversation we just had.

The phone rang.

The continuous ringing interrupted my overwhelming thoughts, ushering me to pick it up.

"Hello, this is Vastel speaking."

"Ah, Vava, this is Vati." A thick German accent greeted on the other side. "Good evening."

My heart dropped, my whole body turned cold. "What do you want?"

"Oh, my boy, I just wanted to check up on you."

"I have nothing to say to you. Please don't call anymore, papa could have been here and you know that."

"Vava, c'mon, I just wanted to talk. You know I still love you-"

I slammed the phone down, unwilling to listen to another word that man had to say. He could not possibly know what love is, not someone like him, for if he did; he would not have cheated on anyone. It disgusted me that he called me so very easily, like we were close. He made me doubt love even more after that short lived 'conversation'. Love? What a joke.

I looked over at my half eaten dinner that was growing colder as each second goes by. My mouth did not feel like chewing anymore, even when my stomach still howled in hunger. He just managed to ruin my evening with one stupid phone call. Anger was building up inside me; a raging fire just went off in my mind. I felt like screaming.

I do not know when it started but I blacked out after that. All I could remember was my poor dinner being chucked into a container which was then thrown into the fridge and the frustrated stomping on the way up the stairs.

When I came to my senses again, I was on the floor, knees to my chest, my face in a pool tears. My throat felt like someone had just polished it with sandpaper. None of my limbs wanted to move and half of my body felt like it was dipped in TV static. My room was dark, barely filled with any moonlight; loud ticking from the clock was accompanied by the creaking of the ceiling fan directly above me as cool air slapped my skin ever so slightly.

My ears perked up as I hear the familiar sound of the door being unlocked from downstairs. Using what was left of my willpower I forced myself up, throwing myself onto the soft bed by the window. I had always known papa would check if I was asleep and I was used to him doing it (I have a very loving father, I know, super grateful, by the way. Thanks, papa.). Worrying him by staying on the floor was not an option, he was already working overtime. I would be the worst kid in history if I were to give him more things to think about.

A soft flick of a switch came from downstairs, followed by the opening and closing of the fridge. Slow muffled footsteps were produced as he climbed up the stairs. The heavy dragging in his steps was getting more obvious when he made his way to my door. Two quick knocks were made before he came in.

My back was facing the door, light came pouring in, and I could feel his stare on me. A sigh left his mouth as he closed door, walking away from my room.

I crawled up. What was that sigh for?