Say The Word

Chapter 22- Blame Me For Being A Teen, Thanks

"I had a feeling you'd be here," she hummed.

"I'm curious," she said, walking up to me like a cat, every step taken towards me was full of intentions I did not have good feels about. "Where were you yesterday? I saw you, yesterday morning; you looked fine, what happened, Vassy?"

I shrugged. trying to shake her off, today was not my day, "I was not feeling well. That is all."

"I don't understand why you have to lie to me." A thousand needles pricked the back of neck instantly.

"It is true, Elly, I was not feeling like myself. Ceb was just with me as a company."

"I'm pretty sure 'not feeling well' and 'not feeling like yourself' are two very different things. I wasn't even gonna talk about Cebario, I was just wondering why you didn't tell me."

I looked at her in confusion. Shaking my head, I said, "Sorry, Elly, but English is not my first language, I did not think that those two phrases meant different things."

A student pushed passed Elly and I, making the both of us realise that we should have been moving instead of stalling in the middle of the hallway.

"I understand that we are friends, but I do not understand why I have to report every little thing to you." For some reasons I decided that I wanted to be sassy that day (Or, it could just have been the fact that I just cried and I was tired, dealing with questions being thrown at my face was the last thing I needed, which I should have told her, but you get it, teenage rage.).

She looked at me, dumfounded, her feet planted on the ground. A there was a distance between us once again. I knew I said something wrong, yet I did not have the energy to say anything, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was go home.

She rubbed her arm up and down; she was bouncing off one foot to another, she asked, "I am suffocating you, aren't I?"

"Elly-"

"I'm sorry if I did that, I was just worried about you, I really wasn't questioning abo-"

"Elly, look, I am just tired and I would like to not do this right now." Well, that certainly came out wrong. "I- I...am sorry, I did not mean for that tone-"

"I get it, I'll go now, see you tomorrow," she said quietly before leaving me in the empty corridor towards the gate of the school.

Good lord, Vastel, you idiot.

▪▫▪▫▪

"It was not that bad, was it?" papa swallowed.

I could only reply him with a half-hearted hum, knowing exactly what he was asking about. Honestly, I was really surprised he had yet to lecture me about skipping school; perhaps...he kept his promise. Catching myself dwelling over this, I decided to ask papa about work because it was literally the only direction I could go, if I wanted to change the subject, "Is work a little better now, pa?"

"Yes," the answer was short, monotonous; it was alarmingly crystal clear that he did not want to have the conversation. Every time this happened, something must had happened in the hospital. Well, noted.

"How is school for you though," he asked, the question crushed my want to leave the dining table. My whole body felt like it was submerged into a tub of cold water. Panic rushed through me.

"It is alright, still the same as ever, the mocks are coming up." That was sort of true, which reminded me of how many things I had to catch up on to be 'ready'. I had not been studying, at all.

"You need help with anything? Chemistry? I know that subject is really hard. I know it is the end of the year and I am sorry we had to move here until now. "

Why he said what he said was something I knew too, he felt guilty. All I wanted to do was to give him a hug, tell him it was not his fault, things would be okay and something along those lines. However, my seventeen-year-old self had no idea how to do it without being awkward.

"I can handle it, pa." I wanted to spend time with him, I really did. But he looked so tired already; his eyes looked soulless, even his movements screamed he had a long day.

The last glimpse I saw of him was him resting his head onto the table, not noticing that I was completely gone. Oh, god, what was I doing? Did I make him sadder? Was he more worried about me? Was I too distant?

They were all unanswered questions I was too scared to ask, for I feared what kind of answer I would get in return.

▪▫▪▫▪

"What do you mean it is normal?" I asked Sumi, ignoring everyone passing her table.

She tightened her ponytail, frizzly long hair falling down her back.

"I'm saying that it's normal for Cebario to not be present, it happens once or twice every two months or so. It's been like this for as long as I was his classmate." The girl sitting down shrugged. "The teachers stopped sending letters and asking him why after that one time he went into the office. No one really knows why, but there were a lot of rumours connecting the bar job and his absence in class, and also why the teachers excuse him for sleeping."

Someone, please answer me, what on Earth happened here? "I see, do-"

"I know what happened," Elly, the least expected person I would see during recess showed up.

"Elly, listen, I am so sorry about yes-"

"I get it, it's okay, and you weren't feeling like it. I'm just here to apologize to you, overheard your conversation is all," she patted my back. "I was gonna say, I know why the teachers don't care much. I asked one of the teachers, well, not exactly asked asked but apparently he made a deal with the headmistress or something. I guess you could say he knew what he was doing by telling her that he was going to ace everything from pop quizzes to exams, because grades are all she ever cares about."

How did Elly even- (We do NOT need to know this one, by the way.)

"I assume you don't mind me joining you for recess today?" Elly lifted up a huge lunch box I did not notice her holding when she stepped in.

Alright, maybe we could potentially chill a little today.

▪▫▪▫▪

Everything was fine after recess and during the classes after recess. Things were going sort of my way, excluding the fact that I was zoned out 70% of the time in class. I was hoping things would continue to flow smoothly so I could take a break from the world I had accidentally set foot in, going back to my comfort zone of being alone.

Obviously, things could not go as planned, because life hates me and would like to see my young soul be troubled with everything that was happening around him. Elly planted her hands onto my table, " Vastel!"

My insides jumped, "Yes?"

"I need to ask you something."

Oh, heavens, can I please just go back to only worrying about what to buy for the week?