Say The Word

Chapter 23- I Can...Explain...?

  Maybe I did sort of stall on trying to get Ceb into seeing Elly's perspective.

"Elly, I cannot just force Ceb into forgiving you, I need time," I explained, holding up my hands in defense, hoping that she would stop staring at me so intensely. "We are still figuring things out; I am unable to risk it all because of one wrong move."

"I'm not asking you to force him, Vassy. I just wanted to know if things are going fine."

"You just demanded him to speed things up a second before this, don't get all defensive now, Elly," Sumi shoved her arm in between the both of us, shielding me from Elly's stare.

"I felt like things weren't moving, obviously I would ask him, Sumi, stay out of this."

Both girls glared at each other, neither of them showed signs of backing down.

"Elly, Sumi, please, you do not have to do this," I stood up, resting my hand on her shoulder. "I can handle this, Sumi, thank you. Elly, I know you want to know how things are, and I can understand that. However, please try to see that I am really trying. No offense, Elly, but truthfully speaking, Ceb's facial expression would take a 180 turn, I am a little intimidated, I cannot just force him to talk about this."

My words hung low in the air, no one said a word. I stood by what I had spilled, no second doubts, no taking anything back, no running away; I was honest with her, refusing to take back what I had said, there was no way I could do that anyway. Everything I wanted to express was out in the open now.

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"Why would you let her step all over you? It doesn't make sense, Vastel, it was clear that she was going to push you and drain you like everyone she interacts with," Sumi said, fiddling with her box braids, once we were out of the school compound, away from Elly's earshot.

"She does need this help, Sumi, she wants to change, and I personally think it is possible for a person to do so. She is genuine, you know?" I shrugged, in a way trying to confirm and convince myself that I made the right decision.

"You want to help her to gain Cebario's forgiveness, right?"

"In a way, yes, I just want Ceb to at least see that she is trying."

"What if he doesn't accept it? How is this fair to you and Ceb? What about the relationship you have worked so hard to build? What if he doesn't want to be involved with you anymore?"

"I do not know, to be honest, I never thought about this, but I know that what we, Ceb and I, have is something special. I trust that he would not be so unreasonable. What do you think?"

"Well, from what I have heard, Elmana had done some really bad things to him. If I were in his position, I would be furious. In fact, I would never want to even remotely look at her way. You can't just say sorry and expect someone to forgive you; it just doesn't work like that."

I could not deny anything she said, I did not see the point, because it was true. It would be hard for Ceb to even hear Elly's name. A conflicting feeling was planted into my heart, it started to grow and a thought fruited: Was I really doing the right thing?

Should I bring this up to anyone? Would they try to convince me to stop being on Elly's side? Was my belief being shaken up?

Who knows, surely, I was the last one to know any answers to those questions.

Sumi and I split up at a junction. It felt surreal how Sumi was the one walking home with me every Friday after the whole thing with Ceb. I was tempted to go to Ceb's work place, but I knew they would most likely hate me for showing up.