underneath the lights || hsmtmts

head a little higher | ricky x gina

{author's note: another ao3 request!!! a mini fix it fic for the 2x06 flashback scene from opening night. please enjoy!}

"so now i'm gonna give you a really tight hug, and then i'm gonna walk away with my head held high." gina's words are shaky, and her quivering voice is joined by watery eyes. she had said her piece, and now she just wanted this one moment before she left salt lake city, and her feelings, in the past.

they look at each other, and while her voice is still shaky, her eyes still red with the tears that threaten to flood her face, she needs this one last thing, but more than anything, she needs to stay strong through it.

"okay?" gina confirms, a few moments passing before she's able to get the question out, but he's not hesitating in his own response.

"okay."

and once ricky's said the word, confirmed he understands what she means, gina finally does hug him, clinging tightly as though he's her lifeline. the little smile that comes through on her face is just his alone... and she doesn't know how she's going to follow her own rule about walking away with her head held high tonight... whether that be from him or from this city.

in his arms, which had clung just as tightly to her slender frame as she was hugging him, gina finds herself reflecting on how she even got to this point where she was crying over a boy. something she'd sworn never to put herself into the position to do.

she'd always been the confident type, that wasn't even a question, but ricky bowen had pulled her back down to earth quicker than she could have ever imagined. this one thing? these pesky and unbelievably strong feelings for a boy who she had dared to believe felt the same way...

a crush was far from part of the plan when she went out for this musical. but she'd believed her mom when she said they would stay the year in salt lake city, and so maybe she'd let her guard down before he showed her how strong real love could be, but he'd been the one to teach her that opening up to others didn't have to be entirely scary. they got each other in some sort of way...

gina's teen movies and ya novels had ill prepared her for an experience she'd purposely kept out of the question for years up until now, but that was okay. she doesn't think any relationship is like the movies, even if she hoped for something that magical as she daydreamed in her diary. she was getting her showmance but far, far too late...

"what if i can't?" he asks her.

her heart races and she's snapped back to her reality by an all too familiar voice. her place in the makeup room entangled in ricky bowen's warm embrace was hardly an unhappy one, but that also didn't make it easy for her to accept the sooner they let go physically the sooner she had to start forcing herself to let go of him emotionally.

"huh?" she's confused, but not enough to pull away from him at all, just burying her face in his shoulder.

"what if i can't let you walk away?"

"i'm leaving ricky. my mom and i have to go. i appreciated being in the show and seeing you again but it's not like we have a choice..."

"we always have a choice..." he insists... unwilling to release his grip on her even so they can properly look at one another to speak.

"we as in me or we as in us?"

"us... i know you and your mom are going across the country right now, but facetime is a thing, same with texting and calling." he reminds her. "and i know what you said before- about there not being any point in calling you anymore... but that's not true gina. there is a reason to call you. because i like you... love you... i don't know..."