Pyaar, Prema ..... Friendship?

🖤Chapter 24🖤

"Hey, there you are" she hears someone enter the porch, silently shutting the sliding door behind them. Ahana hums but doesn't turn around, pulling the blankets tighter around her as she sees the alpacas and the goats run around their respective cages, their bleats a gentle music in her ears. Spicy cologne surrounds her as her Dad takes a sit beside her on the bench and rests his hand on the back of it, ultimately wrapping it around her blanketed shoulder. Ahana squirms and wiggles around until she can rest her head on his chest and burrows it into his neck "You okay, tesoro?" he asks and she shakes her head. Her eyes water and the lump in the throat forms back, when her breath hitches and her Dad tightens his arm that was around her shoulder, his other had taking one of her hand and gently rubbing her palm, soothing her with one of his famous Italian lullaby. "Ne vuoi parlare?" her Dad asks and Ahana nods, sniffling into his cotton t-shirt "I miss him, too much. I try to be all smiles and sunshines with you guys but I can't. I really can't. There's this void that I never felt before, like I lost someone dear to me because of my ego and I wasn't willing enough to listen to him. I want him back. I want to end this like how we usually end it whenever we have a petty fight back in the day. I want to see him and laugh at this problem, I want us to have back what we have" she pours out, her voice hitching with her breath and her tears damping her Dad's t-shirt.

Her Dad hushes her as he caresses her head, planting small kisses down her hairline while he mumbles soothing words in Italian into her scalp. "But you haven't lost him, my dear. It's just a temporary distancing with him, and you guys are gonna go back together, and you guys will be much stronger than ever" he consoles but Ahana shakes her head "What if I've already lost him? What if he's given up on this, because I was too much? What if I've created a bad impression because I overreacted? What if he hates me now? Oh god, Dad, he's gonna hate me, he's definitely gonna hate me, cause it's me he's getting this bad name, f**k! I should have never went back to Coimbatore with him, should have never became close to him, should have just backed off when I had the chance, oh my-" her ranting is cut off when she's hauled into a hug. Her Dad shushes her as his hands slowly rubs her back "Hey, hey, calm down....you're working yourself up and the last thing I want you to have is a panic attack" "Already had three this past two days, and that's a record I'm not happy breaking" she mumbles into his t-shirt. The father-daughter duo stay wrapped up as the sun sets, creating a myriad of yellows, oranges, reds and peaches in the sky, casting a warm glow and warmth around them. She can hear the animals in the farm retreating to their nests and barns, ending their day and she sighs into her Dad's neck. Ahana then leans back, but rests her head on his chest, looking at the sunset "Maybe he deserves someone better than me" she ponders and hears her Dad click his tongue "Of course not, mia cara. If he's in need of a new best friend, he would not have taken so much effort to fix things between the both of you" "And that's another reason why he needs a new best friend, he's doing all he can to fix this and what am I doing? Nothing. Nemmeno una cosa. I'm just sitting here and laughing while he's there suffering" she says as she picks on a lose thread on her jeans.

"I just....." she sighs and sniffles "he deserves someone better. Someone who's emotionally stable and can handle stressed up issues. Someone who can take care of him, not the other way around, cause he needs it not me, I'm supposed to be strong. He needs more people like Sivaangi, someone who knows his needs even without asking, someone who can take care of him like his mother, someone who doesn't have an alcohol rack in her house, someone who doesn't forget the world if she's working, someone who's....." her breath hitches "Someone who isn't me" she mumbles before sighing and standing up "He's already suffered enough for the past seven years, and he's exactly back in that spot now, something that I always pray to God that he wouldn't be" "And you breaking off the friendship is gonna give him the happiness he needs in his life?" "If it does then yes" she says with a shrug and her Dad sighs. "You're doing it again ya know" "Doing what?" "Pushing people away, when there's a problem, you push people away, you go back to that introvert shell of yours, you try to make yourself disappear from people's life-" "And that's what Ashwin needs, less drama in his life and I'm the only source of drama that he has and does not need in his life. Look at his adopted family, have they ever given him drama? Nope. With them he's genuinely happy, he's genuinely smiling and laughing. With Sivaangi? He doesn't have to worry anything, cause she knows. She knows what he needs and that reduces his stress. But me? The only thing he has from me is drama, drama and more drama. He has to handle my moods and me. He's forced-" "Forced? Really Ahana? Do you really think he's forced to be your friend? Do you really think that someone's having a gun to his temple and is forcing him to fix this?" her Dad snaps but she just shrugs, before she takes off the blanket from her shoulders and walks back inside the house.