The Transfer

Chapter - 14

"I had to tell you how I felt bad when you guys went to see the sunrise without me. I felt bad when you didn't invite me for last day pictures but I tagged along with Maggs because she didn't wanna go alone. I felt bad when no one but Del got a single pic with me. Del is genuinely the sweetest in the world. I had to tell you about how I felt bad when you asked me if I feel bad when people only approach me for studies when that is just what you do. You know I'm not big on texting. And I felt bad all those time I texted 'How are you?' or 'What's up?' and you just gave a one word answer and didn't even bother to ask back. I felt bad when you guys left me alone to do 'Red Circle's' work when we were all bullied. Maggie could run to play. But to go back to the house for seniors, her leg was hurting. You guys saw me when you were leaving the mess but you didn't even bother to ask where I had been or if I was scolded. Agreed you left Maggs and Syd in the mess. I had to do one last thing. Look for that stupid headgirl. I told them to wait but they left me. Actually that is my bone to pick up with Maggie but I can't and don't want to shout at more people so I'll just tell you. Magnolia and Sydney fucking left me at the mess and I had to eat with people I don't even talk to. And I could even find our stupid headgirl. So I had to take campus rounds alone so that I could find her and hopefully see Del and say goodbye because she was leaving at three in the morning. I got both those things done after walking five campus rounds all alone. And you know what I could do it cause I don't have loner phobia like you. I never cared what other people thought about me but you guys only to find out you guys never thought of me. You know those two days were probably the worst days of my life and their effect is still not over. After I was angry and naturally I didn't wanna talk to Maggie. I wasn't gonna throw it in her face but I wasn't gonna talk to her. But alas. I had to talk to her cause she was crying because Abby was covid positive and after all she was my friend. Then we had to attend a stupid farewell which Maggie didn't come to, again because her leg was paining and her head was hurting. We didn't have a performance prepared got all sorts of glares from seniors. And then seniors even took the one plate of magi we got thinking it was theirs. Then I texted you, 'I'm leaving at 7:30. Come if you wanna.' I thought it couldn't get any worse but guess what, it did. You called Maggs and asked her when I was leaving because you apparently wanted to meet me before that and that made me feel guilty for sending you a rude text. Thankfully you hadn't seen it so I deleted it.

Next morning I was literally begging to God for you to come. But you didn't. Maggs could get up early for the sunrise but she couldn't come drop me. Sarah who I hardly ever talk to offered to help me. SARAH. But my ego came in the way and I dragged my luggage by myself all the way. I met Bree. I asked her to call you from your house. She told me and I quote, 'She won't come. I tried to wake her. She hardly said bye to me.' That was the peak of my anger. I really felt like saying, 'Wake her up and tell her I'm calling. She'll get up. She is my best friend.' But I didn't say it."

"Why?" I interrupted. I was surprised to hear my voice break. I was crying but I was too busy feeling guilty for what I had done to realise.

"Honestly, because I wasn't sure you'd come. I wasn't sure I was your best friend. I didn't know if you'd get up for me. So I didn't say anything. And you didn't come. And all I had was myself at the end of the day. And it was fine you know. And it still is. Fine. Just fine." She sighs. "That's it. Thats all I had to say to you. Or maybe I had more. I don't really remember. I didn't exactly make a list." She tries to joke but she starts crying. I wanna hug her. But before my mind can process anything and tell me what to do, I find my hands reaching out to hug her. And she hugs me back. And we both sit there, crying, for god knows how long.