The Transfer

Chapter - 8

It is already 4:15. I text Kate to let her know that I won't be able to call and everything was ok. I don't wait for the phone to ring again. I call Kelsey myself.

She picks up on the fifth ring. I would've disconnected if she hadn't.

"Hi." She yawns. I can tell she just got up. Late morning Saturday. She probably slept late last night...because of me.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." I say positively hoping for this conversation to go in a good direction.

"Morning Dan." She sounds happy. She is probably too sleepy to remember I transferred. Well that is good most likely because... "Wait, you left school." She says before I can finish the thought. Not a good direction.

"Um, yeah."

"WHERE? WHEN? WHY? HOW? WHAT? THE? FUCK? DANI?" She is up now.

"I was not expecting that."

"Well what exactly were you expecting to hear when you told us? That we love you and support you in whatever you do?"

"Well, kind of."

"You know that could have had that maybe, if you would've had the courtesy to just tell us yourself. Do you even know how it fells when your teacher tells you that your best friend transferred schools without telling you? Or when someone like Sam tells you that you told her and not me about your transfer?"

I'm speechless.

"I thought so. You don't know because it has never happened to you. Well let me tell you how it feels, it fells pathetic. It's like someone threw a giant rock on top of you and the only person who can get you out has left your life."

"Well I haven't left your life. We can still be friends. We are still friends. We are best friends."

"I don't know about that. I certainly thought we were. But you tell your best friends if you are moving away."

"I know. I'm sorry. I tried. But I couldn't. I just didn't have it in me."

"So what is it Dani? Why are you doing this? It can't just be financial reasons. So why did you really move Dani? What is the reason?"

"Nothing it was just distance and money."

"That can't be it Dani. Tell me, genuinely."

"Seriously no reason. Nothing."

"Dani, I've known you for six very long years. I know you. Tell me what is up?"

"Ok, you know what? You really wanna know what is up. Genuinely?" I didn't wait for a reply.

"Nothing is up. Everything, every fucking thing in my life is freaking downhill. I can't live like this. My friendships are ending. I'm drifting apart from my best friends. DOWNHILL. My studies, my concentration, my focus, it is all in hell. I got a freaking 89% in finals. Ive never gotten that low. I've never gotten below 90. Leave 90. I've never done worse than a 94. DOWNHILL. My temper is out of control. I keep shouting at my parents, everyone at home, disrespect everyone. I'm shouting all the the time. I'm shouting right now. DOWNHILL. And I'm addicted to screens. I'm not ready to leave my T.V., IPad, Netflix. I'm stuck to them. I can't leave them no matter what anyone says. I back answer and argue with my parents because of it. DOWNHILL. All of it. DOWNHILL. DOWNHILL. DOWNHILL. What more do you want?"

"What do you mean your friendships are ending and you are drifting apart?"

"That is the only thing you caught onto. Well it means exactly what you think it does. I always feel left out. You guys probably don't do it on purpose but it just happens. I'm always the third wheel or the fourth wheel. I'm never in the loop. You know people say two's a company, three's a crowd but in my case I'm always the crowd. If four of us are sitting together then three will get on perfectly well, stay in the loop but I'll always be the one left out. And you know what you can actually only have one best friend, that one person you can always depend on. You got Maddy, Del's got Deb, Maggie's got Abby and Bree's got Syd. Who have I got? No seriously, who have I got?"

"You have all of us honey."

She has the guts to say that.

I start crying.

"No I don't have all of you. I don't have any of you. I had Sam you know but God knows what happened that you couldn't be friends with her anymore. I should've understood then. My partner's gone. I won't be able to survive alone but I am stubborn as hell as you know, best friend. I'm just drifting apart from all of you. Just like you said."

"When did I say that?"

"Well don't pretend to be innocent now. I heard that voice message you sent to Maggs about how you were talking to Felicity that you think I'm gonna drift apart. And how she asked if it was because I wasn't bitchy enough. According to you that was an insult to you guys but you know what I take offence in that statement. You know maybe I'm not, bitchy enough to be part of your crowd. I can't hurt people's feelings as easily as you guys do. And I don't wanna be bitchy enough. And I'm sorry I heard your messages. I know I crossed my boundaries. But my name was there and I couldn't resist. And later when I asked you about it you very well twisted it around in god knows what direction and made it about choosing between me, Maddy and Abby or Maggs, Bree and Syd. You just straight up lied to my face man. And I tried. I tried to forget it. I tried to believe you. Hell I might have listened to that message a hundred times trying to match it to what you told me. I kept trying to make myself believe maybe you mis-spoke, maybe it was a slip of the tongue. But the truth is something that can not long be hidden. I just stopped being naive. It hurt. Mind me you, it did hurt a lot. So you know what I thought? I thought that if I stay there I will eventually drift apart from you guys because that is, well that is the inevitable, isn't it? So instead of making new friends there and having to face you guys everyday, I thought I'd rather just make new friends elsewhere. And honestly at first I was very scared, if I'll be able to make new friends or not, if I'll be happy, what if I'm lonely, what if I miss you guys? But I was wrong. These people are extremely sweet and I've already made a very good friend. And on top of all of that I've not missed you once. Isn't that just amazing. I'm so happy here, you know?"

The line is empty.