Don't Forget About Me

17~ Love Maze

Shin Yoora (Y/N) POV

I have not been in my right mind.

Since my abortion, I have been feeling unexplainable emotions that I wish I could control.

I've been letting my anger out on those around me; people at the store, random people walking outside, Jungkook..

I still feel guilty.

Not about what your thinking, but about my babies.

I don't know if I did the right thing.

I know I couldn't have afforded them.

Them.

Before I had my abortion, I found out that I was having twins. Identical.

Somethings' telling me that I did the right thing, but another is punching me in the stomach.

I try to think of it as, my kids are in Heaven with my mom.

But, I don't truly know where they are, or where my mom ended up.

Lately I've been wishing that I've done enough, that I didn't say that, or that I didn't do that.

But as happy as those babies could have made me, I would have never felt happy.

At least, I think.

If I could go back, I wouldn't have had my abortion.

I know their father is a monster, but they can't help that.

They deserved better.

I could've put them through the system until I was ready.

Stop worrying about it, I remind myself.

I have also been reminding myself to listen to my needs.

I wanted to be alone so I could fix my heart, but I chased away the only person who tried to help me. The only person who knew me better than I knew myself; I guess.

I'm still mad at him and the way he lacks respect for me sometimes, but I am trying to think about what I say before I say it, so I can prevent hurting anyone else.

I've been playing the victim all this time, and blaming Jungkook. He's right, I've been overreacting. I don't want to think of it this way, but at the concert, I'm going to apologize to him; and hopefully my emotions don't get in the way this time.

But, maybe he should apologize first.

Author POV

Yoora set aside her journal, stood up, and stretched.

The first concert for BTS's World Tour was today, and it was mandatory that she attended.

Yoora proceeded to brush her teeth, do her hair, and get all dolled up so she could look her best.

"It's not like I need any of this, of course." She smiled.

"Momma, is it this way?" Yoora heard a little girl speaking from the hallway.

"Yes honey, let's go!"

"Yay! Ice cream time!" The little girl yelled in excitement.

"She sounds so sweet." Yoora said. That could've been me.

As Yoora finished getting ready, she got a knock at her door.

"Yes?" She answered.

"Hey Yoora, this is the 'front desk lady,' just call me Betty. Actually, don't, it's really embarrassing. But there is a cab waiting for you. The driver said that your company sent them."