From a butterfly to a butterfly, it was somehow hard to believe that two kids could be so love foolish. Falling in love at first sight, maybe love wasn't as dreamy as it seemed. After all, with the crap they've been through, the two ex-lovers will a...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"IF ONLY I BELIEVED YOU."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
APRIL 4, 2016 — 13:24 PM
I aimlessly read files, my eyes drowsy as they stared into outer space. I couldn't understand one word, but I was looking for words that had Ms. Kang's class in them. However, my heart was pounding. I felt horrible these days, not because of Beomgyu,
but because of Yeonjun.
I haven't seen him since the garden fight, and I miss him a lot. I'm prohibited from seeing him, considering "fight protocol"—and considering that both of them agreed that Yeonjun couldn't meet me anymore. I missed all the fun fights, all the beach nights. I missed when we went bowling, laughing our hearts out because I kept getting shots into the gutter. I just miss him.
It's wrong to be missing him, considering that our time together has been prolonged, but before he was my partner-in-crime, he was my friend. He was someone who had a good sense of knowledge, who was able to take criticism well. He abided by all rules despite playing with some of them, including the ones he made himself. He hasn't seen anyone, not even his friends. Soobin told me that the last time they talked was a day after the fight when Soobin took care of him.
And Yeonjun had told Soobin that he had given up everything, including me. Soobin had told me this meant that Yeonjun did have feelings for me, that it wasn't a mistake that his pity had turned into admiration. Soobin found out the reason that Yeonjun stopped fighting back was not only because he had realized I was still stuck on Beomgyu, but that he liked me.
He took it as a chance to rearrange his feelings, knowing it was wrong to love me. I felt bad, I didn't know what to do when I found out. Those days, I went back to my wrongful habit of stress-studying, crying tears as I reread history questions from tests past. The wrongful habit of insomnia, pretending that the world refused to exist. It took me back into a downward spiral, and I was under the supervision of Taehyun for one whole week because of a few other things.
It was as if Beomgyu disregarded my suicide attempts, he disregarded everything that happened and continued his happy life. I wondered for a second if I didn't exist in his bubble— if I left his life just like that—would he continue this lifestyle?
