Bitter Shards

4: Nina

She couldn't stop herself from shaking, tears of pain and resentment welled up inside her eyes. How she longed for Matthias' comfort. Something she would never experience again. Nina blamed herself.

She thought of why he died. Matthias' life for Kuwei's enslavement? Was it really worth it? Of course, she knew that it wasn't just Kuwei, and the downfall of all Grisha may have been a variable in play. Nina knew that it would probably end in an entire nation possessing power over the rest of the world. Still, wasn't Matthias' life worth it? No, she was being selfish. All of these varying opinions, and she couldn't control a single one of them.

Why was she in this situation again? That's right. Kaz. Nina doubted herself enough already, why did he have to make it worse? Sure, he was cold-blooded, ruthless, and only bothered for Inej (and even that she was unsure of), but couldn't he have cared in the slightest? Of course, Nina knew that what Kaz had said wasn't entirely off. Well, obviously.

She was sitting alone, about a block away from Wylan's house, too stubborn to go and ask him for help. She was also too prideful to show up looking like a freshly dumped teenage girl. Plus, Nina didn't have much pride to spare. Tears stuck pieces of hair to the red of her cheeks. She'd been wearing the same outfit for... well, to be honest, she didn't really know how long. And, oh gosh, was she even wearing shoes. Maybe Kaz was right, she really did need to pick up her act. She made a list in her head because lists never work for her.

One, stand up. It seemed simple enough. Nina rocked her body and pointed her hands towards the horizon. A little too much momentum. She swayed and landed right on her face. In annoyance, Nina blew a few strands of hair stuck to her red lipstick. This was not as easy as it seemed.