I want to experience all my dreams
I want to grant all my wishes
I want to reach all my goals
I want to live...
Yet at the same time,
I want to quit this suffering
I want to finish this misery
I want to end it all;
I want to die...
I'm stuck and I hate it
Stuck between life and death
I can't decide what to choose;
I can't decide what's better...
I've sat in silence long enough
I've talked to my soul long enough
I've listened to myself long enough
Long enough to realize that I could get both
I learnt what I truly wished for...
It was to leave this life and live a new one;
It was to die and live again...
It isn't called dying
Neither is it called living
It's called revival;
Rebirth;
Resurrection...
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This wasn't really meant to be a poem or anything. It was just random thoughts spilled out. It's what I managed to understand from the tornado of thoughts inside me. Not much that goes through my head really makes sense to me, but this is what I got from it.
It sucks to feel like this. At first, you don't know what you want. However, when you finally figure out your true desire, you realize you can't get it. I mean, you can but how...
I don't want to wait for when I can change my life.
You need to die to be revived. I get that this "death" could be emotional too but then again I don't think I'd be able to be revived if I truly died on the inside. But if the death was literal? What if I actually died... It would take a lot less time and I'd actually be resurrected...
Yeah no. I hate myself for thinking like this. But at times it's the only thing that makes sense. It seems so... logical.
Whatever, though. If I killed myself, I'd go to hell so I guess I'll just have to wait until I can do something about my life.
YOU ARE READING
The Ember Garden
PoezjaIt's the journey through life The quest of finding herself In which homes are left, people are met, mistakes are made and there's a whole lot of regret She's never let the pain get to her, well at least that's what people think. However, only her di...
