HEADPHONES ‧ k.tsukishima

𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞;

5 months later

He was standing in the rain, face covered by a gloomy black umbrella. Tears silently rolled down his face, mingling with stray raindrops. They were illuminated by occasional flashes of lightning that cut like shards of glass down the melancholic grey sky.

A girl with newly dyed forest green hair shuffled next to him, her pink umbrella casting neon light onto his sullen face. Eri sighed,

'Hi Tsukki. I think we need to talk.'

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, 'Do we?'

A nearby car drove by and splattered the two with rain water mingled mud. Eri growled and wiped a chunk of mud off her face. 

'Can we talk somewhere... warm and dry preferably.' She sighed, 'Come to my place, please.'

They walked in silence to Eri's single condo. The building loomed over them, ominous in the faded light. She opened the creaking door and welcomed Tsukki in. It was vibrantly decorated, reflecting its inhabitant's personality to perfection. Yet with the storm still thundering on outside, an eerie glow was casted over the place. There was a framed photograph on the mantelpiece of Eri and Omi, her girlfriend, grinning. A smile flickered on his face for a split second. Tsukishima sat down on the sofa and politely accepted a mug of warm tea from Eri. His hands were shaking and the tea was slowly trickling down the side of his cup. Eri sat down with a sigh opposite him. He noticed some moving boxes in the corner.

'Are you moving?' Tsukishima questioned, taking a small sip from his mug.

Eri grinned, 'Yeah, Omi asked me to move in with her. Since I live alone anyways.'

An uncomfortable silence befell them.

Eri coughed awkwardly, 'So... I wanted to ask. What happened-'

'With Atsuko?' Tsukki smiled weakly, 'I don't really know either'

He twisted his promise ring round and round his finger, a nervous habit he had picked up recently.

'You know her and Osamu... aren't a thing? He rejected her about... uh 5 months ago I think.'

Tsukki sat motionless in his chair. Eri sighed again,

'It's me and Atsuko's final year at Karasuno. You're a second year now. And the last time you and Atsuko talked was... a long time ago.'

'And for good reason too.' snapped Tsukki, 'She liked Osamu. Whilst we were dating. That's why we broke up. She went on a date with him. And I wasn't fucking stalking her. I was at the mall with Yams and Yachi. I saw her in the cafe with him, flirting. She said she was single. While we were dating. Then,' his hand were shaking uncontrollably now, 'she had the audacity to get mad at me. She shouted, I shouted. And then she ended it. She was the one who said we were over. I don't love her anymore, I want nothing to do with her.' 

There was a pause before Eri locked eyes with Tsukki and raised an eyebrow, 'Then why are you still wearing that promise ring?'

He wrenched it off his finger, 'Because... because...' Tsukki let out a sob, 'I don't even know anymore, okay?' 

He slumped further into his chair, 'I loved her. She just didn't love me.'

Eri's face was twisted with sadness and confusion, 'Damnit Atsuko.'

They sat in silence once more. The only sound that accompanied them was the trickling of the rain down the window and the quietly tedious ticking of the clock. 

Tsukishima placed his tea down on the coffee table and stood up shakily.

'I need to go. I have studying to do. Thank you for the tea.'

Eri scowled before crying out, 'Tsukki!'

He turned around, eyebrow raised. Eri fiddled with her fingers,

'You know... that she still loves you right?'

Tsukishima let out a weak laugh before his eyes turned sour, 'Does that matter anymore?'

Before Eri could open her mouth to speak, he had already slammed the door and stormed off. She went to the window and watched his silhouette fade into the rain, not looking back once.

Eri fell back into her chair and swirled her tea mindlessly with her finger, ignoring the burning sensation. Tsukishima's sour eyes had once been happy and full of love. He had once been playfully salty, filling the room with his laughter. As had Atsuko and Yamaguchi, and perhaps herself too.

Her eyes flickered to a photo of the four of them, when Tsukki and Yams were in their first year. It was in the second term and they were outside, bathing in Japan's glorious sun. Atsuko was holding the phone, grinning brightly, whereas Tsukki was sticking up his middle finger behind her, arm wrapped around her shoulder. Yams and Eri were holding up peace signs in the back, laughing hectically. The photo was so beautifully chaotic. Eri smiled reminiscing on fateful memories of their friendship. Her smile faltered. 

Where'd all the time go? 

A dangerous silence had settled over the Daichi household. It had arrived soon after Sawamura's departure for college and had gradually become worse. Atsuko couldn't breathe without getting a swift glare and removal of her dinner. It was one of her mother's bad days and Atsuko was holed up in her room, stomach growling for food.

She had picked up a new hobby: journaling. It helped her to write down her feelings in a book that hopefully no one would ever find. And it was a far better method than bottling it up and lying when Eri asked if she was ok. Atsuko was rarely ok. Osamu gone, Tsukki gone. Eri preoccupied with Omi, Yams dealing with his parent's. She was left at home with her mother. A mother she despised.

Her depression was getting increasingly hard to maintain and no matter how many ominous pills she took, it just wasn't getting better. Atsuko could feel the race of her heartbeat, feel the tremble of her fingers. It was all her fault. Her fault her fault her fault. The dark little voice whispered in her mind all day, following her. She was the reason she had lost Tsukki, the reason her friend group had slowly split up. Atsuko reached out and turned her music a little louder. Not Allowed by TV girl blasted out of her speakers, sure to piss off her mother.

All by yourself

Sitting alone

I hope we're still friends

Yeah

I hope you don't mind

~

a/n: hi loves, i haven't updated in ages and im rlly sorry for that! a lot of things have been happening in my life, some good, a lot bad and its been rlly hard to balance writing with sorting through my mental health issues etc. this book is getting rlly dark LOL but next chapter i promise it will get better :))) ly lots thanks for sticking with me and my nonexistent upload schedule <3