The Little Things

2 July 2021

I, random anonymous writer, have decided to pick up the courage to talk to my crush. Starting with a deleted message that was supposed to be an opinion. It was a wayyyy better choice than starting with the opinion not gonna lie. It ended pretty abruptly though. I was trying to initiate and drive the conversation but I guess hope is the last thing I have now.
    Can you imagine? It's the day before the anniversary of the day your paternal grandma died and your mum is here holding a grudge against your dad's side of the family just because they want to meet up? It was such a good day but two stones had to kill me. I kind of understand the people who have to suffer everyday, thinking about suicide, depression so on. I am aware I might need help but hey, I'm just a minor. Even if I wanted to see a therapist I have to go through my parents, which is the reason I have this. Yes, I want to tell them how I feel, I want to tell my friends too but I just can't bring myself to do it when it comes to my parents and as for friends, I just feel they're tired of me and my ranting. So wouldn't it be better if I just kept quiet? Bottling my feelings isn't good, yes everyone knows but sometimes even the person you know you can trust and can understand you doesn't even want to hear you out anymore. You might be thinking I am talking about my friends but plot twist, no. I am talking about my crush. Call me insane, stupid, obsessed, I don't care. He is built differently I swear. There is something different I  just can't describe.
    Alright, negative things aside ( because I'm listening to my #throwback Spotify playlist which gives me positive energy), it's pretty late for me to say this but, Hyunjin from Stray Kids is coming back!!! And BTS is coming out with a new song!!! I have know idea why but these small things just make me so so happy. I  swear to god,  the happiness is real. Writing about everything above made me cry but hey, I ain't crying no more.
    Besides the Kpop news, family issues and crush problems, I met my best friend today! And gave her her very belated birthday present, due to Covid 19 restrictions, we were not allowed to meet before June holidays. Seeing her made me happy, although she didn't seem happy, neither did I, I did feel happy. Inside. Warm fuzzy feeling hehe.

    This entry was rather short, I am sorry but I don't have that much juicy gossip. Sorry ._. And last but not least, I would like to make a song recommendation: If you haven't already heard this song, it's called "You Don't Know You're Beautiful" by One Direction. I wanted to recommend it because it is the song I'm listening to while writing this and it gives a good "stand up, dance and forget about everything'' vibe.