Begin Again

Chapter 4

Joe's POV (Point of view):

My head is still hurting from the amount of alcohol I drank yesterday. I literally spent all the money I had left at that bar, where was my mind? I don't have a single euro in my pocket right now. I should have agreed to Tyler's breakfast offer but it'd be so embarrassing to go back now...wait was her name Tyler or Taylor? Ugh doesn't matter. If it wasn't for her I would've been dead now, and I don't know if I should be grateful for her or hate her for this.

As I'm leaving Tyler's building I realize how poor and dirty this place actually is. How can someone live with all these neighbors by his side? The hallways are very narrow and each of them have so many flats, and there're unbearable noises coming from every single one of them. The place smells absolutely disgusting, and the paint on it's walls is cracked and half of it has fallen off already. I swear this place is unfit for human life. I just wanna get out of here as soon as possible. I've never been to these parts of London before, to put it another way, I didn't know they exist.

Moving on from that, right now I guess I need to find a job, or else I'm gonna starve to death. But how can I find a job? What do people do to get jobs? I haven't graduated college yet so I don't have a degree that might help. The only time I've worked in my life was at that stupid shoes store last month before the owner kicked me out, and Ed was the one who found the job for me...but now Ed is abroad. How am I supposed to survive till I find a job? I've never been stuck in such a situation before.

I'm thinking about calling Gigi or Abigail but I'm sure they're currently out of the UK too, every year all of my friends travel to different destinations to celebrate Christmas with their families. Me and my family used to do that as well. I don't know if there's anyone left here who still cares about me.

I've been looking for a job for the past 5 hours but I didn't find any. My legs hurt and I'm starving right now, and I don't have money to buy food. Most of the stores are closed cause of the holiday season, and the ones I found open aren't looking for any employees right now.

I sit on a bench overlooking the Thames river thinking about what I should do now. I still can't believe that neither my mom nor my older brother Tom cared to reach out to me on Christmas eve. Did they forget about my existence already? I mean, It's only been 3 months! I do know they've a right to act this way but it's hurting me horribly. The guilt alone is killing me, why do they have to make it worse? I don't know if my mom is planning on ever talking to me again at this point. But well..I deserve even worse than this. 

That blonde girl is to blame! If she didn't stop me from jumping in the river yesterday I wouldn't be looking for ways to survive right now. Cause even if I found a job, this's not the kind of life I want to live. I hate being the helpless person that I am right now.

Well giving it another thought she was just trying to help me, so I should be thankful for her. I'm not an ungrateful or evil person but what I'm currently going through is forcing me to act like this. However..I shouldn't be taking my circumstances as an excuse to be an asshole.

2 more hours have passed and I'm still looking for a job but it's in vain. I feel like I'm about to faint cause of the lack of food and energy in my body. I also tried calling many of my friends but none of them picked up, they've been ignoring me a lot for the past couple of months, and I don't know why. Aren't they supposed to have my back at this time? Or maybe what I did was so horrible that even my friends don't wanna talk to me anymore.

As I'm walking closer to the bridge I was about to jump off yesterday, that tall blonde girl who saved me came to my mind. What if...oh no no, For God's sake I don't even remember her name correctly, how am I gonna ask for her help? Why would she even agree to help me? Undoubtedly she's not gonna let me stay at her place again.

But I mean..I have no other choice! She seemed so kind and gracious, she saved my life without even knowing me..so maybe she wouldn't mind helping me find a job or staying with her till I find one. Even if I can't stand that building or narrow flat, I've nothing else left to do, so I'm gonna give it a try.

Taylor's POV:

I'm watching Hell's Kitchen on TV and I hear a knock on the door. It's 10:00 p.m. right now, who could it be? I get up from my bed to open the door. When I open it I find that same tall handsome blonde blue-eyed guy with the cute dimples. What is he doing here again? I'm sure he didn't forget any of his belongings here.

"Heyy..." he says smiling at me awkwardly.

"Oh hey.." I reply being surprised. And as usual he remains silent for a whole damn minute running his fingers through his hair, and looking left and right. So I decide to cut the silence,

"Are you planning on telling me what brought you here again or is your airplane mode still on?" I say mockingly.

"What airplane mode?" he asks in confusion.

"Ugh never mind" I sigh, "Just tell me how can I help you? I don't think you forgot any belongings here."

"Oh no I didn't- Sooo.. Listen, this's probably the most embarrassing situation I've ever been in..but I wanted to ask you for a favor. I really hope you won't turn me down."

"What favor?"

"Look Tyler I-"

"Tyler?? My name is Taylor!" I frown cutting his sentence.

"Oh! yeah right sure..my bad! I'm sorry Taylor." He smiles at me in an apologetic way, "So Taylor I'm gonna be straight forward..I currently don't have a place to stay or sleep, and I don't even have a job or money right now so I'm totally helpless..and I don't know what am I supposed to do in this situation..." he remains quiet for a minute then continues, "I'm well aware that we don't know each other, but you were the one who decided to help me yesterday so I was wondering if you could help me one more time..maybe you'll let me stay here again?"

I stare at him open-mouthed cursing in my head. What the fuck dude? I only helped you yesterday cause you were about to kill yourself, why would you think I'm running a hotel here?

"I mean..don't you have any friends or relatives to stay at?" I ask in a confused tone.

"Trust me, no" he sighs. I don't say anything for a couple of minutes cause I don't know what to tell him, I can't let him stay here, no chance in hell I can trust a strange man sleeping with me in the same room.

"Look Taylor, I promise I didn't come back here until I realized that you were my last hope. I know you have absolutely no reason to let me stay at your place but if you didn't, I don't know what would I do. I literally have nobody else to turn to..so please don't say no" he begs me.

It's true that it's impossible for me to let an anonymous guy sleep with me under the same roof, but his helpless situation is reminding me a lot of myself. It feels like he's exposing me to my biggest weakness point, that I've nobody to care about me either. I don't know if he's lying to me, but he might be telling the truth too.

"Alright, I guess you can stay here then.." I agree to his request wishing that someone would have helped me this same way 9 years ago.

"OMG? Thank you very much!" he grins from ear to ear, and I smile back at him.

Well I didn't think carefully about the outcome of my approval, so hopefully he won't make me regret it later.