Begin Again

Chapter 14

**Warning // The following chapter includes some troubling parts such as eating disorder, bullying and self harm.**

Later the same day..

I buy Taylor a white tulip bouquet before heading to her flat. I'm not sure if she likes this type of flowers, but I know that white is her favourite colour so I picked this one. My heartbeats keep racing at the thought that I'm gonna see Taylor's face again in 15 minutes. I'm a total nervous wreck right now but deep down I feel so happy, and I really hope she'll be happy to see me too. It feels like getting her to forgive me can fix everything else going on in my life. And I've no clue about the reason, but it's my only wish in life at the moment.

When I arrive at the gate of Taylor's place, I stop to look at the building and start recalling all those memories. Not so many things have happened in the 2 months period of me staying here, but they were delightful and priceless ones. Looking at this place makes me feel so many things. I will never forget how I started what felt like my second chance to be alive here, after Taylor saved me not only one time, but many times.

Shortly after, I start going up the stairs that doesn't lead directly to Taylor's flat, but to the opposite side of the building. This way it'd take me 60 seconds longer to have to know if she'd accept my apology or not, cause I don't know what I'm gonna do if she didn't. When I finally reach Taylor's door, I stand in front of it breathing in and out for another minute before plucking up my courage to knock.

I keep knocking for about 5 minutes but I get no answer. It's weird cause she can't be at work now she doesn't do night shifts, also she doesn't know that it's me so she can't be refraining from seeing me. I keep on knocking then start calling her name. As a response, a door opens but it's not Taylor's door, it's Zayn's.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE AGAIN?" he frowns seeing me. I guess Taylor must've told him everything that's happened since they're pretty close. I lower my head shamefully for a few moments before looking up again to answer him.

"I came to see Taylor." He shots a sarcastic stare at the bouquet in my hand then at my face.

"Taylor? Or Camila?! You must have mistaken the rooms I think." I don't response to his offensive joke and just look away. Then we both stay silent for a couple of minutes before he starts threating me,

"Joe if you don't get the fuck out of here right now I'll smash your head on the wall with my baseball bat. I can't take facing a deceiver for longer," he says gravelly so I glare at him,

"I'm not leaving without talking to Taylor."

"Man! The audacity rich people have!! Isn't what you've already said enough?"

Again, I prefer to stay quiet. I turn around to continue knocking on Taylor's door and start calling her name even louder this time.

"Don't bother yourself Taylor isn't here, she left."

"Left where? When is she coming back?" I ask in confusion.

"She left the place. She doesn't live here anymore!" Zayn pulls a face as he says so.

My brain stutters for a moment as my ears reject to accept the information they're hearing. Is it possible that Taylor left her home cause of me? Did I hurt her so deeply that she had to escape?! I'm starting to have a heavy feeling in my stomach at the thought that I've damaged her soul that much. My guilt is weighing down upon my shoulders.

"But why?" I wonder in a voice heavy with shame, in hope he'd say that I wasn't the reason why she left, and it was something else I don't know about.

"WHY?!" Zayn lets out a sardonic laugh.

Then out of the blue, I feel his knuckles hitting my face. I take a step back and stare at him in surprise as a response. I don't make any further reaction, cause I know that he has every right to punch me. He punched me so hard that my nose starts to bleed.