Why Me?

chapter 3

(Meredith's POV)

I woke up around 6:30 a.m to see Derek sleeping on the couch pull-out bed. Today is the day my doctor would confirm if I have gastroparesis or not and how severe is actually is. I'm actually pretty nervous for the tests but I don't know why because I know how it works already. I guess it's just weird because I'm the patient and not the doctor in this situation..

I knew I couldn't eat anything before the swallow study and I haven't eaten in at least 12 hours but I have no appetite when I'm usually hungry around this time. I turned on some T.V to distract myself from my thoughts and then Derek woke up.

"Hey Meredith, how are you feeling?", Derek asked with a raspy morning voice. "Fine for now I guess. What will I do about work?", I asked. "Don't worry about it. I talked with the chief after you fell asleep and he agreed to give you a month off of work and maybe more if you need it and I have a month off as well. I'll be with you, supporting you, every step of the way.", Derek said holding my hand. "Thank you so much. I love you.", I replied. "I love you too. I'm going to go to the bathroom and freshen up and brush my teeth. I'll help you do the same if you want." "No, I'm fine. I got it. I will freshen up after you finish and I'll call you if I need help. "Okay."

After Derek finished getting ready he waited for me to finish getting ready in case I needed help and then went home to grab a few clothes for me and him and some flowers to make this room less boring. He left around 7:10 a.m and my swallow study was at 9 a.m so I had about two hours to just rest before my day actually started. Derek came back 20 minutes later and brought some card and board games as well so that I wouldn't be bored. I love him so much. 

"Ha! I have a plus 4! I win!", I yelled happily. "Ughhh how are you so good at uno??", Derek asked laughing. "I don't know. I'm just good like that.", I smirked. After that game of uno and a few other games, the doctor came in. "Good morning Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd. I just wanted to go over a few steps and completely explain the swallow study I have ordered for you. I know that you probably already know how it works but I just want to explain it again since, Dr. Grey, you will be experiencing it. The swallow study is called Barium Swallow or Barium Testing. A nurse will take you to radiology and a radiologist will meet you. You will stand, sit, or lie down on an x-ray table and swallow a drink that contains barium. While you swallow, the radiologist will watch images of the barium traveling down your throat to your upper GI tract. The images will be recorded so I can review them as well. You may feel some discomfort and nausea but that it totally normal and there will be a basin available at any point and time you may need it. If you get sick while the test is in session, you will have to do it again. I'm sure we can get it done in one try though.", Dr. Romano explained thoroughly. Derek held my hand tightly as Dr. Romano explained everything. I think he is more nervous than I am.

Dr. Romano left the room and a nurse came in shortly after. "Hi Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd. I'm Nurse Rosa. I will be transporting you to radiology. Dr. Romano has requested that you be in a wheelchair.", the nurse said calmly. "Why do I need a wheelchair? I can walk perfectly fine.", I protested. "Meredith..", Derek warned. "Fine whatever.", I mumbled.

Nurse Rosa brought me to the x-ray room and I met the radiologist. Derek could stay with me but he had to put on a lead vest. The radiologist gave me a lead shield to wear over my pelvic area and I sat down on the x-ray table. Then the radiologist gave me a strawberry flavored drink that contained barium. As I swallowed it, the drink was thick and chalky but the strawberry flavor made it a little better. 

After the study, Nurse Rosa wheeled me back to my room. I was already starting to feel some discomfort and nausea in my stomach but decided not to say anything. It would be a waste of time anyways. I'm always nauseous.