Why Me?

chapter 11

*This chapter was written by @_Ktje_. I am so grateful that she has been so nice to help me to bring another chapter to you guys because I have been gone for so long. I just wanted to put this disclaimer before you read that I did not write this at all and she has written this whole chapter. Definitely check out her stories if you haven't because they so good. Okay, now enjoy this chapter!*

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Derek smiled as he entered Meredith's room. She just had one of her sessions with Dr Wyatt and he was desperate to ask her how it went. Not to be pushy but because he was really worried about her. Because he cared about her

Her being honest about losing her will to live made him really scared and conscious about her feelings. He never should have said what he said that day their fight started and although he had said 'I'm sorry' for over ten times, she still had a hard time inside. Inside her mind she was thinking about it too often as she had nothing else to do. She couldn't work, she couldn't hang out with Cristina. She was forced to stay in bed with a constant pain in her stomach while the fracture in her arm, a painful reminder of how weak she was, while she was forced to be focussed on all the bad things

"Hi. Can I come in?" Derek softly asked

"Yeah" Meredith breathes but kept her eyes closed

"How did it go?" Derek walked towards her and took off his coat

"Okay" Meredith replied without anything more

"I was thinking we could maybe watch a movie together" Derek suggested without trying to push her

"I wanted to watch the Bridget Jones movie again. I don't know- It's probably a silly idea. Never mind" Meredith sighed and pulled her blanket higher as she felt very self conscious

"No! Not silly at all. I'd actually love to watch them with you. I know my mother and sisters all saw those-" Derek tried to save himself

"Really, it's not a big deal. I can watch them by myself, you shouldn't be here all the time" Meredith quietly said, she didn't want him to leave but she didn't wanna waste his time. He clearly wanted a break, he'd said it a few days before and he could actually walk away, she was unable to do so and would do anything possible in the world to get there

"Mer, I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. I was tired, I hate to see you in pain, I didn't mean a thing of what I said" Derek kissed her forehead but she didn't lean into his touch. She looked into his eyes, her brows frowning slightly as she seemed to think really hard about what she would do next

"Derek-" She started but looked away. She meant what she was gonna say but she didn't want it to go that way but this situation wasn't fair on him "If you want.. You could just leave. I'm not gonna blame you for this, I really understand. You didn't choose to be with someone who'll need so much help and I'm not really nice company either.. Just- Just go" She told him as she fidgeted with her fingers

"What? I'm not leaving you" Derek gasped

"You could, I really understand. Derek, I can't give you-" She started but he interrupted her

"I. Am. Not. Leaving" He stated clearly before he cupped her cheek in his hand

"You sure?" Meredith asked as her body was begging her to lean into Derek's touch as shivers went down her spine

"I am sure. I don't want a future without you, Meredith Grey" He said sternly and kissed her lips

"I love you" She whispered

"I love you too" Derek kissed her again "How are you feeling?"

Meredith shrugged in response

"Mer-" Derek sighed

"Just the usual" She muttered

"Can I try to make it a bit better?" He smirked

"Whatever" Meredith sighed and turned on her side as she rested her head on the pillow

Derek sighed and grabbed a heating pad. He plugged it in and rested it on her sore stomach. She winced a bit as the weight rested against it but relaxed soon after. He laid down next to her and positioned her head on top of his chest and gave it a soft kiss

...

Hours had passed, they both had fallen asleep until Meredith woke up and felt slightly dizzy

"Mer?" Derek groaned but didn't open his eyes

"Shh, go back to sleep" She whispered and kissed his lips before she pushed herself into a sitting position. Her arm was throbbing but it wasn't as bad as before. She grabbed a pillow and placed it under her arm for some support when she felt her stomach turn

'Not now' She thought. She repositioned the heating pad and laid back down again as she felt some stabbings in her stomach

Shortly after Meredith had fallen asleep again Derek had woken up by a nurse who was administering Meredith's tube feeding

"What time is it?" Derek asked the nurse

"It's time for her evening feeding. Dr Shepherd, maybe you should grab some dinner for yourself as well" The nurse said softly

"Could you check on her while I'm gone?" Derek asked

"As long as there are no other things going on I can make sure to check on her until you're back" The nurse said

Derek kissed Meredith's forehead and walked out of the room. He hurried himself to the coffee store outside of the hospital. He bought himself a bagel and a steaming hot cup of coffee. As he walked back to the hospital he took a minute to breathe in some fresh air

On his way back he passed Richard who apologized for not stopping by the past days and checking on how she was doing

The nurse had left and Derek didn't like that. He quickly checked on her but didn't wanna disturb her as she was sound asleep

"Thanks Richard. I'll tell her" Derek smiled and continued his walk. He entered her room, the nurse had left and Derek didn't like that. He quickly checked on her but didn't wanna disturb her as she was sound asleep, he then placed his coffee and bagel on the table and started eating

Meredith kept whimpering while she slept. Derek abandoned his bagel and checked on her

"Mer, can you tell me what's wrong?" He frowned as her BP and HR were slightly different then before

"Awww" She wailed as she clutched her stomach

Derek lifted her gown and pressed his fingers on her stomach but it was as hard as stone

"I need some help here!" He screamed as loud as he could

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That's it for now! I hope you enjoyed.  And once again, this chapter was written by _Ktje_.

She is such a great writer and was so helpful to me because I know a new chapter was long overdue. I have been offline for a while and I hope to get back into writing again as summer approaches.

Have a great day/night! <3