Why Me?

chapter 5

(Meredith's POV)

I woke up to a loud beeping sound and nurses and Derek standing over me. "Wha-?", I asked before Derek said "It's ok Mer. Your blood pressure is tanking try to stay awake for me.". My eyes were starting to droop but I knew that it would be could potentially be bad if I fall unconscious.

"Her blood pressure is 80 over 55 start her on pressors now!", Dr. Romano yelled as he came in the room and saw my monitor. "Her temperature is 102.8°F and her heart rate is 140 beats per minute Doctor.", a nurse pointed out. "Okay let's get bring her to an ICU room and take some blood and run it to the lab. She is showing early signs of sepsis.", Dr. Romano said.

At this point, my whole body is in pain, I'm dizzy and I'm breathing really fast. I hear Derek faintly telling me that he will come to my ICU room as soon as possible and I'm rolled away to the room.

When I get to the ICU, Dr. Bailey is there with Cristina. I guess Cristina is with Bailey today. "Cristina take some blood and run it to the lab. Put a rush on it!", Bailey yelled. "Of course, right away.", Cristina said with a nervous look on her face. Dr. Bailey leaves the room and now it is only Cristina and I in the room.

"Hey Mer. How are you feeling right now?", Cristina asked as she cleaned my arm with rubbing alcohol. "I want to go home.", I say completely out of it. "Okay so your mental state is not clear. I'll make sure to tell your doctors.", Cristina said and finished drawing my blood. "I'll take this to the lab but first I need to change your tube feed ok Mer?" "O-ok.", I said with a slight cough.

After Cristina leaves a nurse comes in with in with what seems like a catheterization kit. "Hi Dr. Grey, Dr. Romano has requested that you get a catheter considering how weak you are and that you need to rest. I will get started with the insertion in a minute if that's ok.", the kind nurse said. "No, please no.", I cried. "I want Derek." "Okay, I'll page him."

Within minutes Derek came into the room with all of my stuff. "Hey Mer. It's ok. I'll be here with you the entire time if you want. Just hold my hand.", Derek said sitting down next to me. I nodded and held his hand tightly. "Okay, I will put the catheter in now.", the nurse said.

After a lot of crying, the nurse is done and adds the bag that catches the urine. She washes her hands, changes her gloves, makes sure that my feeding tube is ok, my I.V is ok, and then leaves. "How are you feeling Meredith? Does your stomach hurt? Are you nauseous?", Derek asked. 

"What do you mean.", I asked confused. "Do you know where you are?", Derek asked standing up. "A-at home? No, I'm at the hospital. The hospital." "Yea, that's right. We are not at home, we are in the hospital. I'll page Dr. Bailey and Dr. Romano okay?" "Ok."

Within minutes Dr. Bailey and Dr. Romano come into my ICU room. "Hi. So Meredith still feels very feverish to me and she's a little foggy. For a second she thought she was at home and she just seems very confused and out of it. Do you know what's wrong.", Derek asked concerned for his girlfriend.

"Well Cristina did mention that her mental state was not clear.", Dr. Bailey said. "It could be because of the sepsis. Her blood test came back positive for a bacterial infection, most likely from the ulcer and poor nutrition so I will start her antibiotics along with her I.V. Hopefully we caught it early enough so she doesn't go into septic shock.", Dr. Romano added.

"Hopefully? Hopefully! I need you to know what's wrong with my girlfriend and I need you to know how to help her. Hopefully is NOT good enough. Her organs could fail! She could die! Run any test in the books. Please, do not let her die!", Derek yelled.

"I know this is frustrating but you know that as a doctor yourself, patients with sepsis are unpredictable. We will keep her in the ICU and keep her on pressors until her blood pressure goes back to normal without the need of medicine and we will keep her on antibiotics until her infection has gone away. You know that patients with sepsis will have a slightly long recovery time so you just need to be there for her. It will not be easy considering her severe gastroparesis and malnutrion but that's why she is in the hospital. She will be monitored all the time and as her doctors, we will do everything to save her life.", Dr. Romano said. 

"Okay...", Derek replied holding my hand and kissing it. I saw everything that went down but I am in too much pain to say anything.

"De-derek?", I whisper. "Yes Mer?", Derek asked immediately looking into my eyes. "Can I try to eat something?" "Of course! I'll get you some soup and water ok? It's good that you're trying to eat even with your feeding tube.", Derek smiled.

He came back with some tomato soup and a vomit bag. He knew that it was likely that I would throw it up but he wanted to be supportive. As I was almost done eating it, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. "Agh!", I yelled in pain. "Mer? What's wrong?", Derek asked putting down his book. My stomach. It hurts. It hurts so bad.", I cried. I then threw up into the bag. "Oh Meredith. It's ok. Let it out.", Derek said rubbing my back.

After I finished he paged a nurse to help clean up. After the nurse finished cleaning, she checked my urine output and her face dropped. "What is it? What's wrong?" Derek asked concerned. "Oh, um. She has barely any urine output and it's almost been 12 hours. I will page Dr. Romano.", the young nurse said before leaving the room.

"Her sepsis is getting worse she is now in severe sepsis. I need to get a CT as I think the infection has spread to her kidney. I'll take her to CT now myself.", Dr. Romano immediately said after he came into my room. "Derek", I say with worrying. "It's okay, I'll be here when you get back.", Derek said as he fixed my feeding tube's position and I was wheeled from my room to CT.

After 40 minutes the scan was over and I was taken back to my room by a nurse. Dr. Romano came in about 15 minutes later. "Dr. Grey, you have severe sepsis and it would be septic shock but your low blood pressure responded to fluids and vasopressors. You kidney is starting to get infected and could fail at any time so I will make your antibiotics a little stronger and hopefully your sepsis does not turn into septic shock. If your blood pressure tanks again and your fever gets higher, I will have to perform surgery to remove the infected tissue. I need to start you on dialysis and oxygen support though. If anything else goes wrong, I will have to insert a G.J tube so you can get the required nutrients. Your gastroparesis is making this situation even worse. I will be back so I can start your dialysis treatment myself.", Dr. Romano said calmly then leaving the room.

"Derek can you lay with me? I'm cold.", I said completely ignoring everything that just happened. "Oh okay.", Derek replied. "Meredith?" "Yea", I asked shivering. "You're even warmer than before." "Oh.", I said looking down. "Am I going to die?" "Of course not!" "It doesn't seem like it. I'm going into kidney failure, I'm severely malnourished now, I have gastroparesis, and I have severe sepsis that could turn into septic shock at any minute." 

Derek looked like he didn't know what to say.

He just looked at me in my eyes, kissed me, and ran his fingers through my hair. As I almost fell asleep, Dr. Romano came in with the dialysis machine. "Okay Dr. Grey, I will start your dialysis now.", Dr. Romano said kindly. Derek quickly got up and held my hand. 

"Dr. Romano.", Derek said as the doctor was leaving the room. "Yes?", Dr. Romano asked. "Meredith's fever is even higher, I'm guessing in the 103s maybe even 104s.", Derek said. "Okay. Let me take a look... You were right. 103.6°F. I'll put cooling packets on her and bring a nurse to stay with her for a little bit-", Dr. Romano said before he was cut off by the blaring monitors.

"Derek? What's happening? Why is the room spinning?", I asked groggily. "Meredith, your blood pressure is tanking. Try to stay awake for me? Okay?", Derek said holding my hands. "Okay, I was going to wait because I did not want to have to perform any unnecessary surgery but she is going into septic shock. Someone book an OR and tell them I'm coming for an emergency surgery!", Dr. Romano yelled to the nurse's station.

"Meredith stay with me! Meredith?", Derek pleaded before I finally closed my eyes.

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Meredith needs emergency surgery. Uh oh. 😬

1,569 words!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)

Thank you guys so much for supporting my story and a special thanks and shoutout to _Ktje_

She's so nice and you guys should definitely check out her stories if you haven't already.

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