Lily's Charm- Severitus fanfiction

The Gift

1996

Before the little cupboard door closed, his father sneered at him, "This is where we put freaks." Harry stared at the door as the red and gold common room began shrinking, darkening until he could barely breathe. He flung himself at the portrait hole, screaming at the Fat Lady to let him out. She smiled down at him, her face cold, "Did you really think your father would want you, Harry?" She laughed shrilly as the room continued to shrink; the cupboard walls were pressing in on him. "Let me out!" he cried, as the spiders overhead leered at him.

"Let me out!" he shouted again, and then he gasped wildly as he found himself sitting in his bed, his father's hands on his shoulders.

"Harry," Severus was saying in a calming voice, "it's all right." Harry stared at him as he attempted to reorient himself. "Breathe deeply," he directed and Harry drew in a couple of breaths, shivering as he did. Severus squeezed his shoulders, but didn't withdraw. "You had another nightmare?"

Harry didn't answer; the horrible vision of his father throwing him into his old cupboard had been too much.

"Was it Halloween again?" Severus pressed. Harry shook his head, looking away though it made little difference as his father's face was just a blur anyway. "Harry?"

"It was a just a dream," Harry told him as he turned back. There was a pause as Severus removed one of his hands from his shoulder and then Harry felt his glasses tucked into his palm.

"You were shouting," he said quietly and Harry felt a surge of guilt.

"Sorry," he offered quickly, "I didn't mean to wake you," as he slipped his glasses on; his father's face came into focus. He was frowning.

"What were you dreaming about?" Severus asked, ignoring Harry's apology, but Harry just shook his head again.

"I'm fine," he said with a little shrug. Severus brought his other hand up to Harry's shoulder again. He narrowed his eyes a little.

"Do you remember me telling you that it was a mistake to keep your feelings to yourself?" he asked seriously. Harry closed his eyes briefly, stilling the black storm that had gathered in his mind.

"My cupboard," he said gruffly, keeping his eyes firmly closed. His father's fingers gripped against his shoulders and Harry stayed very still, not wanting to lose the contact; he felt so cold.

"Your cupboard." It was an dull echo of pain and Harry nodded, wishing he could have just dreamed of Voldemort again.

"I'm sorry," he repeated hoarsely, not able to stop himself. "If I hadn't said those awful things to you, I wouldn't have been so worried that you wouldn't want me and now I'm having new nightmares..." Harry's ramble trailed off as the grip on his shoulders tightened a bit before lessening again—but his father's hands stayed. Harry opened his eyes. Severus' dark eyes were lighter now and he was almost smiling.

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"I believe this is one disagreeable habit you cannot claim to have gotten from me," Severus smirked. Harry furrowed his brow, looking thoroughly confused. "This need you have to continually apologize," he explained. Harry frowned. Severus shook his head.

"You've apologized enough, Harry," he began, "Yes, you said something hurtful and although you did not mean to, you should not have said it," he continued, letting his voice hold a slight rebuke and Harry immediately lowered his eyes, though Severus felt him relax slightly under his hands.

Severus continued, changing his tone so that it was a bit gentler, "I accept your apology." Harry looked up and his emerald eyes had lost some of their worry and Severus almost sighed in relief. If he'd known Harry would have found such release at his words, he would have offered them earlier. Damn Lupin for being right though; Harry obviously did need to be held accountable for what he'd said, no matter that Harry had needed to say it.