Lily's Charm- Severitus fanfiction

Hopeful Denial

1996

“Harry,” Ginny murmured in his ear, her voice deep with pain. Harry gave her a tight, reassuring squeeze before pulling away a little bit to let her know it was going to be all right. He tried to smile; he didn’t quite make it.

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione breathed from where she was perched on one of the chairs, “there must be something we can do…” but Harry shook his head.

“It’s all right,” he told her shakily, almost believing the lie, but his father had told him there was nothing to fear. And with his dad with him, there wouldn’t be. “I’ll be with my dad, and my mum…Sirius and James as well,” he said with a little nod. He turned to his father, seeking more reassurance, but Severus was simply gazing at him, his eyes hooded.

“Stop that!” Remus admonished, his arms finally uncrossing as he flung them out in front of himself, his sudden anger startling Harry. “This is not some adventure the two of you are embarking on, no matter how many times the Headmaster will tell you so,” he told them fiercely. He moved closer to Harry. “And Sirius would want you to live, not just give up,” he insisted.

“Lupin,” Severus began, his voice dull, making Harry glance at him quickly. His father’s face was paler than normal as he stared at Remus.

Remus ignored him, gesturing between Harry and Ginny. “This is what you’ll be giving up, Harry. How could you want to leave Ginny?” he asked, his voice almost harsh in its conviction and Harry physically recoiled from it, pulling himself into the cushions, his hand tightening spasmodically against Ginny’s.

“I…I…” was all he could stutter, feeling tears piercing his eyes. Of course he didn’t want to leave Ginny…

Remus turned back to Severus, his eyes blazing. “Harry has to want to live!” Remus told Severus, almost shouting now, his fists pulled down by his sides. “Telling him how splendid it will be to see Sirius again…you’ve got him so mesmerized by it, he’s practically eager to die!” he insisted angrily.

“You do not understand-” Severus intoned, his words almost muffled, though there was no reason they should be.

Remus was practically vibrating as he glared back at him, seeming not to notice that Severus wasn’t even arguing with him. “But you understand it, don’t you, Severus?” he returned, almost jeering the words. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You enjoyed it so much the first time that you can’t wait to go back. And now you’re just going to drag Harry along with you!”

Harry tensed, waiting for an explosion and wondering fleetingly why Dumbledore didn’t put a stop to this. And why was Remus being so mean…accusing Severus of being selfish of all things? But there was no explosion.

The two men only stared at one another. Remus’ breathing gradually slowed, his fists relaxing a bit. Several tense minutes passed and then in his soft, familiar voice Remus said quietly, “It’s a fight, Severus. You can't let Voldemort win.”

Severus simply stared at Remus until Remus’ eyes had completely gentled again and a look of sympathy or perhaps acceptance, washed over his face. And then Remus looked away, his arms flaccid again by his sides.

Severus turned as in slow motion, his features transforming as he moved; he gazed intently at Harry and Ginny, and Harry was suddenly disoriented. It seemed as though his father was considering what Remus had said. But he had already told him that there wasn’t any chance…