Phosphorescence | Eret x fem!reader [DISCONTINUED]

Eggs. Literal Eggs. [24]

Korn. So like, I think Korn is a girl, seeming how she just fucking laid eggs.

Who knocked up my child?!

I step out of my turret, walk across to Eret's and knock on his door. "Come in!" calls a muffled voice.

I open the all-to familiar door and flop down on Eret's bed. "Guess what," I say, looking at him as he puts eyeshadow on in the mirror.

"What happened this time?" His eyes shoot over to my reflection in the mirror.

"Korn laid eggs. Purpled got me not one, but a 3-in-1 axolotl package."

"3-in-1? You're comparing an axolotl laying eggs to the worst kind of shampoo there is?" he chuckles before continuing, "You are something else, Y/N."

"I know I am, and you're a crazy guy for loving me!"

He sighs jokingly, "You're right, you've found the imposter."

(AMOGUS SUSSY)

"And now I'm gonna love him 'till the day that I die."

"I'll do the same for you, lovebird." I tilt my head towards him as he turns slightly to face me, showing me his eye makeup. "Whaddya think?" he asks, a smile appearing like a drop of water on a dry rock.

"Beautiful, as always," I tell him. I don't know who taught him, or if he's self taught, but Eret is damn good at doing his own eye makeup.

He has the colours in a soft gradient, from a green-ish teal to a bright cyan, of course with his classic cat eyeliner.

I'm so happy to be dating this man. He is perfect.

"Are you gonna tell Purpled about Korn laying eggs?" Eret breaks the silence, and while I was lost in thought (of course thinking of him, too) he sat down on the bed beside me.

He threads his fingers through my hair (or lack therof, for my also swaggy friends), gazing at my face with a look that can only be described as love in its purest, rawest form. A smile is properly on the mans face, waiting for an answer while I stare at him like an idiot.

"I think I will. Probably give him one, too," I respond, not thinking too much about it. I'll probably find someone else to give the second egg. Most likely George or Bad. Maybe Sapnap.

He hums, a response that is fairly normal for him, when words aren't needed to describe how he feels. "Well, you might as well go now," he bends down and plants a kiss on my forehead delicately. The feel of his touch abandons me, leaving me to take my leave.

I stand and stride out the door, tossing an "I love you!" behind my shoulder before shutting it.

And to my destination I trot, the late morning sun rays warming my skin. I move through the Community House at a fair pace, waving to Ant and George.

Eventually, I make it to the structure I've only come to know so well, The UFO. I swiftly open chat, tapping out a message:

You whisper to Purpled: Bro I'm outside ur house imma come in

You whisper to Purpled: I've got news

You whisper to Purpled: also make some kind of drink I'm thirsty (FOR DAT MONEY AHA)

Purpled whispers to You: Y/N are you high

You whisper to Purpled: No

You whisper to Purpled: Wait but who here has weed

You whisper to Purpled: Like hello, how do you get weed here when we're isolated and you have to go through like a super complex system to come in

Purpled whispers to You: Nobody has weed

Purpled whispers to You: but come up you old fuck I'm laying on the floor

You whisper to Purpled: Ok bro

I enter the water elevator, and without movement I immediately begin ascending upwards. I move with the water so I don't start fucking drowning before I get to tell my son the news.

(Y/N and Purpled have a mother-son relationship, because I said so. Forehead kisses are acceptable. <3)

My head surfaces from the water and I inhale, clambering out of the WOTAH. Almost immediately, as for the works of the world, I'm not wet.

"Hey giant let me in!" I shout after clambering out of the water elevator.

From behind the spruce door, I hear a muffled jumble of words, indecipherable. The door clicks open, and I'm graced with the sight of my boy. He reaches down and hugs me, and I wrap my arms back around him.

"I missed you," he whispers, squeezing a little tighter.

"We literally hung out two days ago," I whisper back, also squeezing as I spoke.

"Squeeze anymore and you might kill me," he whispers, and against my neck I feel the muscles of Purpled's face crafting a smile.

"Time to die," I whisper, squeezing once more, and the young man in my arms wheezes, escaping from my grasp.

"What the fuck?!" Purpled says loudly, speaking so quickly the three syllables sound like a single word. I simply tilt my head up, laughter spilling out my lips as if I were a teapot (I'm a little teapot... short and stout, here is my handle here is my spout) with tea.

I hear a small, "I hate you," and within moments, I'm tackled onto the smooth floor by all six feet of Purpled, knocking the wind out of me. And so, a mini wrestling match begins on the floor of his house.

Eventually I end up pinned on the floor by my forehead and legs, Purpled using his elbow and free hand to keep my arms down. He grins down at me, and the more comfortable he gets with me, the more his smile looks lopsided.

"Now tell me what you wanted to," he demands from above.

"Get off and I will," I bargain, although not having much leverage. He rolls his eyes, still smiling, and flops onto the floor beside me.

"Now will you tell me?" "Fine. Korn has eggs, you gave me a knocked up axolotl," the last words of my sentence descend into laughter, and I can't help but feel as though this is how it's supposed to be.

My laughter dies down, and my eyes slide back to the boy beside me. "Wait— really?" he asks, eyebrows raised. I nod and hum in confirmation. "Holy shit... can I have one?" I can't help but smile at the childlike wonder in his eyes as he looks at me.

"Of course, kid." I softly head-butt him, smiling as he lights up.

(Ayo I think this is gonna be once every 2 weeks now, we're just barely getting grandma's home cleaned out so bruh)