Back and Forth

Chapters Twenty One

I let the tears fall down my cheek freely as I shove clothes in a suit case. I can't stay here. I can't be here with Zayn, anymore not after last night. Not after everything that has happened. I love Zayn so much, but its just too much.

"Why do you have to be so bitchy!" he screams in my face, alcohol radiating off of him.

"I'm not the one being a bitch, you are!" I defended myself, which was a bad choice. His hands connects to my cheek, twice.

"Don't ever talk to me like that!" he grabs my wrists.

"Stop, you asshole!" I try to pull away from him. "Gosh, I hate you!"

"You hate me, huh!?" his breath fans my face. It smells like alcohol and smoke.

"Yes I fucking hate you!"

Next thing I know I'm slammed against the wall. Zayn eyes are dark and hold no emotions. He looks completely different, not like the Zayn I used to know. He slaps me once again, letting me fall to the floor. The toe of his expensive shoes colliding with the side of my waist. I beg him to stop, but it's as if he has lost his mind.

I walk into the bathroom to collect the rest of my stuff. I stop infront of the mirror. I can't stand my own reflection, yet continue to stare at it. I lift up my baggy shirt and slowly back up against the wall. There are big dark bruises scattered around my body. I bring my hand to one of my cheeks. and lightly touch it. I'm foolish to have thought we could have one nice anniversary dinner.

My whole body breaks down in sobs and i slide to the floor. I don't know how he could do this to me. He is suppose to love me and want to protect me. Not scream in my face and hurt me. I love him so much but how am I suppose to be with him?

Everything around me is crumbling. I can't do anything, but watch it happen. I just want all the pain to leave me. I want to be happy again and in love when Zayn and I first started dating. Everything was perfect back then, not because my parents were nicer or because the fans actually accepted me. No, it was because Zayn made me feel perfect, like him I would last forever and have a family in a future. He would tell me him beautiful he thought I was or how much he loved me. Now, its that Zayn had vanished and was replaced with the Zayn I know now.

I glance over at the suitcase I left on the floor. Am I really going to leave him? I need to, but I still love him. Maybe he'll change again, for the better and stop acting like this. Maybe he will be the Zayn I fell in love with again.

"Kasie!" Zayn calls and I panic. If he sees me trying to leave him he will flip out. I try to stand up as fast as I can without hurting myself. Just as I grab my suitcase the bathroom door opens. Zayn's eyes land on my suitcase and then on me.

"Zayn I-" I begin to explain myself.

"You're leaving?" he asks, stepping towards me.

"I can't- I just-" I mutter, not knowing what to say.

"Where would you go, huh?" he says, his voice laced with panic and annoyance. "You have no one besides me! No one wants to be around you Kasie! Where would you go!"

My head is spinning as he continue to yell at me. His voice getting louder and louder with each word. I want to push him away from me and just curl in a ball and cry. My emotions are getting the best of me.

"I don't fucking know!" I yell back interrupting him. "But I do know is that I can't stay with you! You're driving me insane! Zayn! Look what you did to me!" I point to my face before lifting up my shirt for him to see my torso. "Look what you did!"

"Oh my god," he whispers. "I did that?"

"Yes, you did it," I answer him.

"I didn't mean to," he reaches for my hand but I pull it away.

"But you still did it."

"I'm so sorry Kasie, I'm so fucking sorry," he reaches for me again.

"No Zayn," I sob. "I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. Not until you clean up your act. I can't live like this anymore."

   "Baby please," he begs trying to hug me.

   "No," I pull away from him. "We both need help Zayn and we can't do that when we are always fighting. I'm sorry."

....

   I pull my suitcase behind me and knock on Jeff's door. Seconds Dan opens the door and gasps at my appearance. I have a big bruise on the side of my forehead and reels dark and prominent circles under my eyes. His eyes then travel to my suitcase.

   "You mind?" I ask.

   "Of course not!" he opens the door more and takes my suit case from me.

   "Thanks," I smile at him. It's raining harshly outside and I'm soaking wet and cold.

   "Dan where the hell is the plug-" Jeff cuts himself off once he center the living room and sees me. "What's wrong?"

   "I'm sorry for like ruining your night. I just need a place to stay," I explain. "I could go somewhere else if-"

   "Don't be ridiculous Kase," Jeff says. "You could stay here as long as you need."

   "Are you sure?" I ask. "Because I could stay in a hotel. Well I foot have money, but I could stay with Mandy. It's just I didn't want to because of Jason, but I could get over it. I just needed somewhere to go becausd Zayn and I got in-"

   "Kasie," Jeff lightly chuckles, stooping my rambling. "It's fine."