Back and Forth

Chapter Five

   "Hello?" I yawn as I answer my phone. It's been buzzing for half the night.

   "Kasie, where are you?" Zayn asks, frantically.

   "Why would you care?" I try to sound harsh, but my voice ends up cracking.

   "I'm so sorry baby," he says.

   "No you're not," I sniff, trying not to cry.

   "Yes I am!" He says. "Please I didn't mean to- I was just angry and I don't know what went over me. Please Kasie I am so sorry!"

   "Zayn just stop!" I say, finally crying.

   "No Kasie you have to forgive me! You always forgive me," he desperately says.

   "Exactly!" I sob into the phone. "I always forgive you and you never change!" 

   "Kasie, I need you." he is now crying.

   "Why did you hit me then?" I choke out.

   "I was angry and wasn't thinking. I hate myself for hurting you babe. I love you," he cries over the phone. I have never heard Zayn cry before, not once. And let me tell you, it's heartbreaking.

   "Zayn," is all I could say before a sob comes out.

   "Come home, please."

   "I can't until morning, everyone is sleeping and I don't have a car," I wipe my nose with the sleeve of Jeff's shirt I borrowed for bed.

   "Text me the adress. I'll come and pick you up," he says and I hear shuffling in the background.

   "Okay," I hang up and text him Jeff's adress. I go to the bathroom and change into the dress I was wearing and put my heels back on. I go into Dan's and Jeff's room to tell Jeff I'm leaving.

   "Kasie?" he says, squinting at me.

   "Zayn is coming to pick me up. Thanks for letting me stay," I kiss his cheek and he groans wiping his cheek. I giggle and stand up straight.

   "I'll see you soon, love you." he turns around and goes back to sleep.

   "Love you too Jeff," I walk out of his room.

   I wait out front for Zayn. I don't wait long though, when I see his car pull up moments later. He gets out of the car and rushes over to me. He engulfs me in a hug and cry into the crook of his neck.

   "I'm so sorry baby," he whispers, holding me tight. When I feel a tear fall on my shoulder and pull him closer to me.

   "I love you so much," I cry.

   "I know, I love you. I am so fucking sorry Kasie. I won't ever hit you again. I promise."
....
   I lie wide awake in bed with Zayn's arm wrapped around me. I trace the tattoos on his chest as I think. I think about how messed up our relationship is. How Zayn and I are going to end up fighting again. How much I love him and all the crap he has put me through.

   I now understand fully, why everyone is so against our relationship. We are toxic to eachother. One of us is going to end up hurt and alone and by the way things are going, it's going go be me. Zayn is going to leave me broken and depressed, yet I can't find the strength to leave him. I love him too much.

   "Hey," he says, smiling up at me. "Good morning."

   "Good morning," I flatly reply.

   "I love you," he kisses my forehead. "I can't believe I did that to you."