The Paintbrush Deal

CHAPTER 49

It’s already pretty late in the afternoon and our shift is about to end. Naglilinis na lang ako ng mga mesa in preparation for the evening rush. Christmas season pa kaya medyo maraming tao ngayon than usual. Ilang araw na lang kasi ay New Year na naman.
 
I was busy cleaning a table when a teddy bear suddenly appeared on the other side.
 
“Hi, I’m Elio,” it said in a squeaky, high-pitched voice while fidgeting from side to side. “Ooh. . . Look at me. I’m so grumpy. I’m so moody. I hate people. Why do they even exist? They’re seriously irritating.”
 
I rolled my eyes before pushing the table, causing someone underneath to stumble. Lumupasay na lang sa harapan ko si Calix na hawak-hawak pala ang teddy bear.
 
“Ang saya ng buhay natin, ano? Doon ka sa labas magtayo ng puppet show. Subukan mo kayang gumawa ng kapaki-pakinabang bago man lang matapos ang shift mo?” singhal ko sa kanya.
 
“I was only trying to cheer you up,” Calix said as he stood up. “You’ve been looking down all day. Why are you looking so sad when New Year’s just around the corner?”
 
“Kasi masyadong hectic ang araw na ito tapos may isa diyan na paupo-upo lang?” sabad ko naman.
 
Calix smiled sheepishly while scratching the back of his head. “Magtatrabaho na po. Let me help you, then. Rest. Ako na ang bahala rito. Wait for me in the parking area after mong makapagpalit. We’ll eat outside!”
 
He then gave me the teddy bear. I just rolled my eyes before heading to the changing room. Sakto naman kasing tapos na ang shift ko.
 
“See you tomorrow, Eli-boy! May lakad pa ako,” paalam naman sa ‘kin ni Zoe na papalabas na. Sina Sir Mico at Kelly naman ay kanina pa umalis.
 
“Ingat ka,” sagot ko naman.
 
Nauna na ako sa parking lot matapos kong makapagpalit. Hindi naman nagtagal ay sumunod na sa ‘kin si Calix. Wala rin lang naman akong lakad kaya pumayag na ako sa trip niya ngayon.
 
“Where are you taking me?” tanong ko sa kanya habang nasa kotse na kami.
 
“We’re eating somewhere fancy tonight,” Calix replied. “Baka kasi sabihin mo na masyado akong cheap kasi puro na lang street food ang pinapakain ko sa ‘yo. I think it’s time for us to enjoy some fancy food for a change.”
 
“Seriously, I’m totally fine with street food. You shouldn’t have bothered,” sagot ko.
 
“It’s for you, so who cares? Alam ko na hindi madali para sa ‘yo ang mga nagdaang araw, so kahit na papaano ay gusto ko namang mapasaya ka. Remember what I promised you? You need to be happy now more than ever,” Calix said.
 
I sighed deeply. “Oo na. Salamat na rin sa effort,” sagot ko.
 
Calix brought me to a seaside restaurant on the other side of the city. It was quite a nice, peaceful place. Aside sa mahangin, may magandang view rin ng dagat sa kalayuan. Sa isang open space sa ikalawang palapag ng restaurant kami naupo, kaya mas lalong maganda ang view namin ng paligid.
 
“They offer unlimited seafood here!” Calix said. “Sakto. I’m really hungry. Let’s stuff ourselves silly!”
 
I smiled faintly. “Ang dami mong alam na ganitong mga lugar, ano?” tanong ko.
 
“I love to eat, so I really made an effort to go around the city to find the best places where I can find really good food. No worries. I go to the gym to burn off all the fat that I eat,” he said, flexing his arms a bit.
 
Binato ko na lang siya ng lalagyan ng toothpick.
 
“Kumusta pala kayo noong Pasko? Umuwi sa inyo si Sir Mico, ‘di ba?” tanong ko.
 
Calix smiled sheepishly. “Well, tensions rose a little during our Christmas celebration. Umuwi nga for the first time in a while si kuya, kaso si mama naman nag-imbita ng ex-girlfriend ng gago. Kuya Mico wasn’t happy. He was pretty irritated for the rest of the evening. Umalis nga lang din siya after ng dinner,” sagot niya.
 
I frowned. “Kelly didn’t tell me anything about that,” I said.
 
“Ayaw naman na kasing palakihin ni Kelly ang issue. Besides, siya nga ang nagpumilit na umuwi sa bahay si Kuya Mico. Kelly is just too kind. I don’t think my mother likes him, so she tried setting up my brother with other women,” said Calix.
 
“And how did Calix adjust to that dramatic Christmas dinner?” I asked him.
 
He just chuckled lightly while massaging his nape. “It was pretty stressful, but it wasn’t the first time that I had to endure that kind of situation. Things have always been shaky between my mother and Kuya Mico. Don’t worry about us. I’m pretty sure they’ll sort things out.”
 
Wala rin sa ‘king nasasabi si Kelly tungkol sa mga pagbisita niya sa parents ni Sir Mico. I can’t help but notice his tendency to shoulder all his problems. Mukhang wala rin kasing alam si Skyler tungkol sa nangyayari sa adopted brother niya. For someone who’s always trying to solve other people’s problems, it seems that Kelly’s unable to address his own conflicts.
 
“I’m actually more worried about you,” Calix suddenly said. “Talaga bang aalis ka na at doon ka na sa condo ni Kelly tutuloy? Well, not that I’m complaining, but I’m concerned about what that bastard has done to you.”
 
I smiled calmly. “He’s done nothing. Personal choice ko na umalis sa bahay ni Skyler para hindi na ako makaabala pa sa kanila ni Miles. Seriously, you guys are worrying too much about me. Matanda na ako. Hindi niyo naman ako kailangang alalahanin oras-oras,” sagot ko naman.
 
“Can you really blame us? We care so much for you,” replied Calix.
 
“And I really appreciate it. However, sana maisip niyo rin na hindi niyo naman ako kailangang tulungan sa tuwing may maliit na problema ako. My situation is different now. Alam ko na nandiyan lang kayo, pero hindi ibig sabihin na parati niyo na lang akong iisipin. Just knowing that you guys are there for me is enough to make me strong,” I said.
 
He just sighed deeply before shrugging his shoulders. “Well, looks like we’ve underestimated you. We’re so sorry for acting like nosy, obnoxious family relatives. We’ll be more confident in you from now on, Elio.”
 
“Thank you,” I said.
 
The two of us just enjoyed our dinner and feasted on the unlimited seafood. By the time na natapos kaming kumain ay pareho na kaming halos hindi makagalaw sa dami ng mga kinain namin. Para naman matunawan kami at magpalipas na rin ng oras, naupo kami sa isang bench na malapit sa sea wall. Marami ring tao sa paligid, at sa kabilang side ng dagat ay natatanaw ko ang mga ilaw mula sa mga building sa siyudad. It was quite a relaxing scene—naririnig ko ang ingay ng mga tao kasabay ng paghampas ng mga alon ng dagat, malakas ang hangin na dumadampi sa ‘min, at maraming makukulay na mga ilaw sa paligid dahil na rin sa mga dekorasyong pamasko.
 
I was enjoying the relaxing scene when I felt a hand suddenly wrap around mine. Napalingon naman ako kay Calix na nakatingala lang at pasipol-sipol na tila walang ginagawang kalokohan. His cheeks were also blushing furiously. I just chuckled lightly before squeezing his hand gently. Agad naman niyang linapag sa binti niya ang magkahawak naming mga kamay.
 
“It’s a little cold, too,” he said before moving closer to me. Ngumiti na lang din ako bago ako sumandal kay Calix.
 
“There, happy? Pagbibigyan kita dahil nanlibre ka ng dinner,” sabi ko.
 
Ngumiti na lang siya. “Pasensya na. Baka kasi magkasakit ka.”
 
The two of us just sat there in total silence, my head resting on his shoulder as our interlocked hands exchanged warmth. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the comfort that seemed to wash away all my exhaustion and worries.
 
“Doesn’t it get tiring to be you?” Calix suddenly asked me after several moments. “I mean, every time I see you, you’re always doing something. I rarely see you pause to take a breather. Don’t you get tired?”
 
“Getting tired isn’t an option for me,” I said. “I have to keep working if I want to get myself out of this shitty life. Hindi naman ako mayaman. Wala rin akong mga koneksyon. I started literally from the very bottom. I only have myself. Makapagpapahinga lang ako sa oras na makamit ko na ang mga pangarap ko. Until then, I have to keep working hard.”
 
“That makes me feel like I’m just a distraction,” Calix said.
 
I stared at him flatly. “’Wag kang ma-drama. Don’t worry dahil natutunan ko nang huwag ibuhos ang lahat ng oras ko sa mga pangarap ko. I now know the importance of taking care of myself and finding ways to make myself happy. Well, a particular someone taught me that. I want to succeed, but I also want to be happy. I don’t want to grow old as a grumpy, lonely man who ignored the joys and thrills of his youth.”
 
Calix’ face brightened up. “Does that mean na may pag-asa ako?” tanong niya.
 
Sinipa ko siya nang bahagya. “Dude, we’re literally holding hands. Ginagawa mo ba akong tanga?” singhal ko sa kanya.
 
Tumawa na lang siya. “Sorry. Gusto ko lang naman na makasiguro.”
 
He then looked up at the sky filled with stars. “When I first met you, I was really shocked by your tough and no-nonsense personality. Hindi ka nagdalawang-isip na pagsabihan ako. It’s kind of your fault why you caught my attention. Since then, parati na kitang naiisip. Like I told you before, you’re the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to that restaurant. . . and in my life as well.”
 
“When I got to know you better, doon ko na rin nalaman ang mga pinagdaanan mo sa buhay. Of course naawa ako sa ‘yo. However, hindi ko ginamit ang awa na naramdaman ko para i-justify ang pagtingin ko para sa ‘yo. Instead, I promised myself that I will make you happy. I want you to forget all the pain and sufferings in your past. Gusto ko lang na makita kang masaya dahil alam ko kung gaano ka naghirap noon.”
 
He then faced me.
 
“I haven’t been entirely truthful about my feelings for you. In fact, ngayon ko pa lang yata sasabihin ‘to sa ‘yo. I like you, Elio. I like how you’re hardworking, diligent, and strong-willed. I want to be a part of your happiness. I want to be the reason why you’re smiling. I can’t promise you anything as of now, but I want you to know that my feelings for you are sincere. I will do everything I can to prove to you how special you are to me, Elio.”
 
Calix smiled at me sweetly before raising our interlocked hands and kissing mine. I just smiled at him faintly when he brushed away some hair on my forehead and pinched my cheeks.
 
“To be honest, people like you are not really my type—”
 
“WHAT?”
 
“I mean, you’re lazy, stubborn, and a real pain in the head. Sa isang kagaya kong napakaraming plano sa buhay, hindi ko maatim na makakita ng isang kagaya mong naghihintay na lang na makatapos ng pag-aaral para yumaman. Let’s accept it. Sigurado akong diretso ka sa taas sa kumpanya ng parents mo. Hindi ko maiwasan na hindi makaramdam ng pagka-ilang sa mga kagaya mong walang popromblemahin sa pag-angat sa buhay,” sabi ko.
 
“However, I simply cannot overlook your good traits just because I don’t like how you live. Despite your laid-back personality, you’re actually caring and sweet deep inside. Sa tuwing magkasama tayo, wala kang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang isipin ako. In fact, hindi mo nga sa ‘kin pinaramdam ang pagkakaiba ng mga buhay natin. Dinala mo muna ako sa mga amusement park at tindahan ng mga street food noong nagkakakilala pa lang tayo. Dahil doon, naging komportable agad ako sa ‘yo. From the first day that we met, ikaw ang nag-adjust sa ‘kin. I really appreciate that, Calix.”
 
“Kaya salamat na rin dahil gusto mo akong mapasaya, dahil espesyal ang pagtingin mo sa ‘kin. I honestly don’t have any idea about things like this, and I am certainly not good when it comes to expressing my feelings, but I want you to know that I’m really thankful that you’re here with me. Thank you for making me feel special, Calix. Thank you for liking me when I couldn’t even appreciate myself.”
 
Calix pulled me closer to him before enclosing me in his arms. I also hugged him back, and the cold air blowing against us seemed to disappear with the warmth embracing us. He stared at my face for a long moment after we pulled away from our hug, his hand gently caressing the side of my face.
 
“Let’s stay here for a while, though,” I said. “Hindi pa rin yata ako natutunawan.”
 
Calix just chuckled as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Okay. Let’s stay here for a little longer.”

● ● ●

Nakalatag na sa parking area ang maleta at bag ko. Well, kaunti lang naman ang dala kong mga gamit. Ang nakapagparami lang talaga sa mga dadalhin ko ay ang ilang kahon ng mga teddy bear na nakasalansan sa isang tabi.
 
Paalis na nga ako ngayon sa bahay ni Skyler. Thankfully, hindi na siya nakipag-argue pa at hinayaan na lang niya akong makaalis. Tinulungan naman ako nina Kelly at Calix. Both of them brought their cars para isahan na lang ang pagdadala nila sa mga gamit ko.
 
“Well, that’s the last box. Jeez. You sure have a lot of teddy bears,” Kelly said. “Should we go? Magliligpit pa tayo pagdating mo sa condo. I’ll also prepare a little feast for us this evening!”
 
I looked back at the house and saw Skyler standing at the door. Huminga ako nang malalim bago ko siya linapitan.
 
“Hindi na ba talaga magbabago ang isip mo?” tanong niya sa ‘kin.
 
“Alangan naman na ibalik ko pa ‘tong mga dala ko diyan sa loob?” sabad ko naman. “Still, thank you pa rin sa pagpapatuloy mo sa ‘kin. Siguro naman marunong ka nang maglinis at mamili ng grocery mo. Thank you for the food and warm bed that you gave me. I truly enjoyed my stay here.”
 
Skyler just smiled sadly as he ran a finger on the side of my face. “Eat on time, okay? Kumain ka nang marami. Don’t just eat junk foods. Matulog ka rin nang maaga. Take good care of yourself. You’re always more than welcome here in my house, Elio.”
 
I just smiled at him. “Who are you, my mother?” I said, chuckling a little.
 
Skyler stared at me for several moments before pulling me into a tight hug. Despite my initial surprise, I still raised my arms and wrapped them around his back. As the familiar warmth and comfort embraced my entire body, I just closed my eyes and savored what could be our last hug.
 
“I’m going to miss you,” Skyler whispered.
 
I just stared blankly at the empty air. “Yeah. Me, too. Thanks for everything, Skyler.”
 
His hug lasted a little too long, and I suddenly heard someone clearing a throat behind us. I pulled away from Skyler and looked back only to be greeted by Calix.
 
“Let’s go, Elio,” he said, approaching me and taking my hand.
 
I looked back at Skyler. “Bye. See you when I see you,” I said, waving at him a little.
 
Skyler just smiled faintly as he waved back.
 
I could feel my footsteps getting heavier and heavier as I walked away from the house. Despite the seemingly heavy feeling inside me, I eventually found myself entering Calix’ car. I tried to keep my eyes in front of me, but something seemed to be pulling me back to the house. That weird feeling eventually won, and I found myself looking back in the direction where I came from.
 
Skyler was still standing at the door, his hazel-brown eyes gazing at us. Even though he could no longer see me, I still stared back at him as if to memorize the gentle face that has greeted me every morning in the past few months.
 
“Let’s go?” Calix suddenly asked me, smiling at me faintly.
 
I finally looked away. “Okay. Let’s go,” I said.
 
I mustered all the strength to stop myself from looking back at the house once more. Something seemed to pull me back to it as I felt a pang of pain deep inside me. I just closed my eyes for a long moment and sighed deeply to calm myself, my eyes suddenly brimming with tears.
 
It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to leave something that you’ve grown fond of. More importantly, it’s hard to forget all the good times that I had in that house—all the talks and laughter that I shared with Skyler, along with the heartaches and arguments that we had.
 
Unfortunately, both Skyler and I have to focus on our respective lives now. He needs to catch up with Miles, and I have to keep pursuing my dreams. Being with Skyler was probably the happiest time of my life, but as usual, fun times also come to an end. I have to accept the fact that the two of us can no longer be a part of our respective lives.
 
I just felt myself putting a hand over my chest, directly over a spot that suddenly felt hollow and lifeless.
 
It’s hard to leave a place when you’ve already left your heart in it.