song of the chapter: blue skies by willie nelson
We have been laying in my bed for hours. For the first hour or two, we laid flat, side by side, and stared at the ceiling, both of us replaying the events in our minds like a cinematic masterpiece.
We watched the movie of ourselves in our heads over and over again.
As time rolled by, our bodies, now clothed, inched closer. I had peed, we had both showered and cleaned ourselves. As the day rolled by, we sat in each other's presence content with the silence.
It was only when he rolled over on his side that I became more in tune with the fact that he was there.
He turns his body so his cheek lays flat against the mattress, his hand resting on the bed, and his eyes scanning my face.
I turn to face him as well, shifting my body so my shoulder is underneath me. His hand lifts up to brush the hair from my face, gently pinning the blonde hair behind my ear. I return a small smile in gracious thanks.
"You're so beautiful." He hums under his breath, his eyes staring so deeply into mine I genuinely think the words just fell from his lips with no thought at all.
"So are you." I tell him in response, and as the realization that I said the words back hit him, his expression changed. I was worried I had offended him at first with such a feminine compliment, but the slight glimmer in his eyes told me differently.
"You think?" He says barely above a whisper. His hand moves down from playing with my hair to my cheek, his thumb stroking gently across my face.
"I know so."
His eyes light up slightly at my words and I swear I can hear his heart beating a bit faster.
"Nobody's ever said that to me before." He mumbles softly. My hand reaches up to rest over his in a reassuring gesture. His eyes close slowly and I watch as his dark long eyelashes flutter softly against his skin.
"I'll tell you however many times you need to hear it."
He sighs in content. Then opening his eyes, I watch as they fill with regret and sadness. Immediately I knew the atmosphere has changed and he wanted to address previous topics.
I was too caught up in him to even remember what had happened in the days prior. How he was disrespectful and rude, how the sex we just had, happened to be based on built up frustration and anger. It was that he was so intoxicating. I was caught up in the moment.
"I keep needing to apologize to you, but I don't think words cut it anymore." He says, his eyes holding mine. I release a soft sigh, pondering my words and how to phrase them.
"We don't need to talk about this right now." I speak, I just wanted to continue the sweet moment we had going for us and commit it to memory before something happened that put us back to square one.
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