One Day After School

08: Yellow

One day after school
_pretty_poisonous_

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Chapter 08: Yellow

Buntong-hininga 'kong pinagmamasdan ang mga taong nakapaligid sa'kin. Ang kaninang malumanay na musika ay napalitan ng masigla at masayang tugtugin. The music club's DJ really did well.

While looking at their faces, I realized something. They look happy and free to the point that it's making me feel envious.

The colorful party lights lingered in every corner, making the crowd roar in delight. Almost everyone danced and sang along to the song that I can't comprehend well, for my mind's pretty occupied with confusion.

Are these what's my parents doesn't want me to be nor feel?

I saw some students laughing their ass off, partying even though there's no alcoholic beverages — or so I thought? I'm not sure yet.

Okay, back to the topic.

On the stage, I saw an unfamiliar face DJ-ing and remixing the music, making the crowd more hyped. I also saw a glimpse of some teachers on the corners, watching the students thoroughly.

Para akong naligaw sa lugar na hindi ako belong. I mean, kanina ko pa napapansin ang ilang estudyanteng napapatingin sa gawi ko, probably because I stand out — in a bad way of course.

They are all dancing and hyping up with the blasting music. Hindi ba sila nabibingi? Napailing na lang akong bumuntong-hininga. I need to get out of here as soon as possible.

Kanina, habang kuryosong naglalakad papunta rito na walang kaalaman-alam at walang kamalay-malay sa nangyayari, I just proved to myself that I am invisible. No one cares about me, iniwan nga nila ako sa classroom na nakatunganga, right?

Does it hurts me? Of course not. Tch.

Kanina pa ako natutulak-tulak ng mga kapwa ko estudyante kaya't napadpad na ako sa gilid, malapit sa stage. From here, no one can see me because I am on the corner, clearly watching them, analyzing their body movements and seeing through their emotions.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit may ganitong event ngayong nangyayari eh.

Takang-taka ako habang inililibot ang tingin, hindi dahil sa kanila pero dahil sa sarili ko. I mean, if I really did want to rebel then this is a perfect timing, right? I can be wasted here and go home late at night. I can even kill myself right at this moment.

Pero... Bakit hindi ako nakakaramdam ng saya?

This is what I want, right? To be happy, to feel free, euphoric, alive, and live like how others my age does.

Pero bakit hindi ko kaya?

I withdrew a breath before deciding to step out of this unpleasant place. I fee a bit nauseous, probably because of the colorful blinding and mediocre movements of the party lights.

Tahimik akong dumaan sa gilid kung saan makikita ang mga benches na mukhang hagdan. I peacefully walked towards the big steel door. Halos lahat kase sila nasa baba at nagsasayawan. Yes, may ibang students na nakaupo lang sa gilid habang pahirapang nagkwekwentuhan.

Ayoko rito.

To be honest, I don't like this place. Hindi ko alam kung anong meron pero hindi talaga ako kumportable sa loob ngayon. It feels. . . Illegal.

When I reached outside the noisy and hyped crowd, I saw how the sun fully settled down, tucked inside the horizon. The fresh breathe of air made my mind calm down. I know I look stupid while smiling at the sky. In my peripheral view, I saw how the green leaves of trees swayed as the wind passed by, creating a bristling sound. But yeah, this is peaceful.