Fleeting

We Are Family

1st March 2021

I was tired, was an understatement.

If I had rested my head, or simply stopped moving for any length of time, I was liable to fall asleep. But there was no time for that.

After I got home from the beach, I grabbed Tori and Jaxon and we worked on the song for the rest of the day into the early hours of the morning. When we finally dragged ourselves into work, we worked solidly with the rest of the team.

But it all meant nothing if I couldn't impress the person who cared the most; Genny.

I pushed the food around my plate, not really interested in eating pasta when my stomach was in knots.

The clock on the wall ticked by sluggishly. Only an hour left before I'd arranged to play the song for Genny.

Hazel and Tye were quietly watching us, sensing our apprehension, but also our excitement.

I hadn't felt like this about any of the previous versions I'd written. This one felt special. It felt raw and open. I had exposed the part of me that missed Evie and poured all the words and hopes I had, that one day I would get to see her again.

Genny had been right; I had closed myself off from feeling and that's why I couldn't write the song. I needed to feel in order to understand.

It hadn't been easy to open up again, but the song had become a form of therapy for me.

Yes, it hurt to write. And it forced me to think about the fact that I might never have my own happy reunion with the girl that meant so much to me.

But that was strangely the part that also brought me comfort. The memories of Evie were real, and no matter what, no one could take those away from me. I had been focused on what I had lost when I should have been grateful for the little time I had spent with her.

Other people went their whole life without making the type of connection that I had. And surely that's worse?

"Let's set up." Tori pushed his own uneaten food away and headed upstairs.

We all trailed behind him like we were heading to the deathbed of a friend. Which, if Genny didn't like the song, would be exactly the case. The death of another one of my creations.

"Hey, Genny," I said as soon as the dial tone disappeared.

"You sound nervous? This song must be good then," she surmised.

"What makes you say that?" My hands froze over the keys, and she chuckled.

"Because you sound nervous that I won't like it which means that you care."

"Maybe." I shrugged, trying to appear unmoved when inside I was strung tight. If she didn't like this song, I wasn't sure what else to do. Everything I had had been poured into it. There was nothing else I could give.

Tori counted us in, and we started. My fingers shook for the first few notes, but then I lost myself to the song, singing my heart out for the girl that I missed so much. It was a bittersweet song. A combination of hurt from the past but hope for the future.

We'd timed it to go along with the footage that the producers had given Tony, and whilst everyone else seemed to like it, I really wanted Genny to be happy with it.

When the song ended, silence ensued. I looked at the guys in panic, their nervous expressions doing little to make me feel better.

Did she like it? Did she hate it? Did it fit the scene the way she envisioned it?