Can't Control

Chapter 5: Introductions

Samara's POV

Over the next several days, I began my new weekly routine: I worked the gym six days a week, just having Sundays off, and I worked both jobs on Fridays and Saturdays. I didn't see the guys at the gym or bar when I worked. I figured I wouldn't see them much at the gym, as I hadn't seen them at the gym prior to this past Monday anyways. But I didn't see them at the bar over the weekend either, I thought maybe I would since I figured they were regulars.

During the week when I had trained with Shayna at the gym, I told her about seeing Trudgen and the other gentlemen at the bar. She was impressed by what they had done as well, but she wasn't surprised, calling me a "sexy beast" and assumed one of them probably had the hots for me. I just laughed and wondered where they had been, brushing off her comment. She mentioned that they were probably arriving early, as per their usual routine, and were most likely already training in their back room together.

I had expected to see them on Friday night, and I had taken some extra time to fix my hair and pick out one of my favorite pairs of panties. Not that I planned to let Trudgen or his friends see them, I just wanted the extra confidence boost. But by the time the music had started at the bar, I hadn't seen any of them. I actually looked around the bar several times looking for the blond I had seen with the battle vest, as there was a metal show playing on the other side of the venue. I figured since he had that vest on with all those metal and industrial bands, he wouldn't want to miss a show that was in town. But no luck. The same thing happened on the Saturday after that: there was another band playing and I thought maybe I'd see at least one of them.

The following week went by without a hitch as I slipped into my new normal routine pretty easily. I didn't get to see Lynn as often anymore, as she worked and spent her extra time outside of the shop meeting with a few gallery owners. Lynn was trying to put together a gala for her artwork to be displayed and sold, so anytime she wasn't in the shop in the evenings, she was out looking at potential galleries and meeting the owners. I was excited for her, but I did miss spending the evenings with her during the week. The only time we got together during this week was Sunday evening, but we did manage to make the most of it by watching some slasher movie together and telling each other about our week.

By the time the next Friday came around, it had been nearly two weeks since I'd seen Trudgen or his friends. I walked into the ladies' room inside 4 Aces Tavern before I helped Scott open up the bar, and I pulled off my baggy MMA gym shirt and put on my cropped black top. I was really hoping to see them tonight but since the last weekend had passed without seeing them at the bar or gym, I didn't get my hopes too high. I was kind of worried that maybe I'd done something wrong, maybe I'd come on too strong or they just didn't like what they saw.

"No, you can't dye your hair," Chris yelled. "You'll look like a dollar hooker. Just keep your hair the way it is."

"That's disgusting, why would you want any piercings sweetheart?"

"You want to be covered in more tattoos? Really? Don't you think you already have enough? It's really unattractive. Some of the ones you have right now I've been saying you should get rid of."

"Wear this so you don't look like a mess. You should really fix your hair and makeup too. You don't want to walk around with me while you're looking like... that... do you?"

Maybe Chris was right. After I looked in the mirror, I dropped my head and let the tears fall. Fuck, I couldn't wait to see my therapist again next week. I hate that he's still with me in almost everything I do. I feel like I can't catch a break. I took a moment to just let the tears flow and sat down in a stall. I needed to get it out before work tonight, otherwise I might not make it if a customer is rude to me. I'd have a fucking breakdown and punch someone. After a few minutes of sobbing, I took a few deep breaths. If anything happens, I'll just go to the gym tomorrow and take out my aggression then. I'll make the time to go in the early morning before work. I stepped out of the stall and splashed some cold water on my cheeks and under my eyes. The lighting in the bar was dim, but I didn't want anyone asking me questions about it if my eyes were swollen and red.