✔Mr. Snowman | BTS Namjoon

Chapt. 15

His legs were giving out by the time he reached the entrance of the apartment complex Nia lived in, every breath he took more painful than the first. The stairs took forever to climb, his hands grippingonto the railing for dear life. He slowly went up the stairs, the knock on the door so gentle, as if the door would break with just a small push. He hoped to at least be able to explain himself after making sure she was okay.

It took a moment for someone to answer, the door swinging open like those doors do at a haunted house. He was anxious to see her, hopefully finally speaking to her as Kim Namjoon and not Jun. Her face came to view, Namjoon bowing slightly before taking his time to scan her. She had tears running down her cheeks, her eyes becoming wide once they landed on the tall figure towering by her door.

"Excuse me? Are you- um Namjoon, wait- why are you here? Did Jin forget something?"

What was he doing, he wondered. How was he supposed to explain anything to her? It wasn't like they were friends, much less acquaintances that could just hand out whenever he wanted to.

Nia looked behind him, the bodyguard arriving just as she opened the door.

"Please come in, it's rather cold outside," she sniffled, Namjoon signaling for the man who had arrived to wait outside.

It was small, cozy with a candle lit in the dining room area. The sound of sad music trailed out toward them from one of the rooms, Nia's tears flowing as they made their way to the living room.

"Sorry for the mess," Nia exclaimed, rushing over to grab a picture frame from the coffee table. She held it tightly as if Namjoon had been there to steal it. He had only been able to get a brief look at it, but just from the color of the man's hair on the portrait, he knew it was someone related to her.

"Was he a relative?" Namjoon asked cautiously, hoping that his probing wouldn't provoke more pain.

"My brother."

Nia sat down, placing the frame back down, allowing for Namjoon to study the picture. The man was young in the photo, his smile identical to that of Nia's.

"Is he out of the country?" Namjoon questioned.

He wasn't sure if maybe Nia missed him and therefore he had caught her crying for his absence, or if there was more to the story. Knowing her as he had, Namjoon knew there was more to her tears than a simple case of homesickness.

"He died on Christmas eve," she whispered.

Namjoon was confused and in shock. While there was much he did not know about Nia, he had also come to learn that she sympathized with the orphans as much as she did because she had at some point been in their shoes. He did not expect her to have anyone else but the orphanage her whole life, and with that small comment, he had come to understand so much about her.

Nia on the other hand wished for the man to leave so she could mourn on her own. She could never forgive herself for what happened to her those many years ago.

"He died in a foreign land, chasing me," she mumbled, hoping that the curious eyes of Namjoon would be satiated by those words.

Namjoon finally understood her obsession and the reason behind her desperate attachment to Kim Seokjin. She had lost something so great, and her only soles was a man with what he presumed was a similar personality or familiarity to that of who she had lost. It made sense for once, and just as she had found soles in Jin, Namjoon imagined May had found that same peace in him.

For a while, they said nothing, letting the music play softly, letting the snow hit the roof, and letting the sounds muffle Nia's cries. Namjoon could understand some of her muttering, the language foreign but familiar. She begged for forgiveness from the man she called brother, she begged for it to have all been a dream, and she begged for time to go back so that she could not have made the same mistake again. Namjoon simply let her cry, allowing her to continue where he had interrupted. Namjoon remembered a time when he had cried as she did, but for different reasons. He had thrown in the towel more times than he cared to admit, but there was always someone at his side -whether it be a member of his group or his family- to give him a push to pick up the towel one more time. So Namjoon let Nia cry, he let her cry until she could no longer muster up any tears, and until her throat was sore. He let her cry so that he could slowly approach her and let her lean on his shoulder. He began patting her head, and with every pat, he would give her a small reassuring comment.

"You've done well. You grew up strong. You have been brave. It's okay to let yourself go sometimes. As long as you pick yourself back up, it's okay to falter," he would repeat to her as if it were a mantra that he was chanting.

She would just sigh, allowing for the stranger in her home to comfort her. She had finally broken to the point where she could not even fathom breathing on her own. She felt like something was choking her, stuck in her throat was her heart and she could not speak of what she felt.

"Why are you even here?" she finally asked, pulling her head away from him.

She was afraid of the reply. She knew that Jin had finally witnessed who she truly was and feared that Namjoon was there to tell her off as he had done with May. From what Jin had mentioned before leaving, Namjoon had had a bad experience with May and it made sense now why that girl she had called her friend was now gone.

"Jungi is a friend of mine. Wanted me to check up on you," he lied.

That woman sitting next to him looked so fragile, like porcelain ready to shatter. She smiled softly at him, leaning her head on his shoulder again. Namjoon gave her a gentle pat, the room's cold air warming with one click of the heater's remote.

~

The morning light woke him up, Nia was fast asleep on his side, the smell of cinnamon filling the air. He slowly placed her leaning against the couch, getting up before carrying her bridal style onto the couch. He placed his coat on top of her, leaving a note on the coffee table that he would be back later with breakfast.

Namjoon felt something tug at his heart as he left, picking up his phone to give someone a call, the door closing behind him.

"Ah~ Jin-hyung, you still at the dorms?" He asked when the call was picked up, his bodyguard guiding him towards an awaiting car.

"Yes, everyone else has left already, tell me, where in the hell are you? I stayed to wait for your return, are you okay? You didn't even call to tell me you arrived anywhere or that you weren't kidnapped on the way?!" Jin nagged.

"I'm fine hyung. Tell you what, why don't we go for some breakfast and I can explain everything to you-"

"Sorry to interrupt but I'm on the way to the airport. While I stayed to make sure you're okay, I sure as hell do not plan to spend Christmas with you," Jin explained.

"Do you know in what state you left that girl in?" Namjoon replied annoyed.

"Yesterday was the day of her brother's passing anniversary. And from what I heard you explained why her friend left too. She was in shock Jin. How could you do that to her all in the same day?"

"I am truly sorry about that, but that is none of my business," Jin groaned.

"Sure as hell, it's not. Go on your way, I'll deal with things here. Just, don't ever think of approaching her again. I can handle it from here," Namjoon urged.

"Fine by me. Just take care of yourself okay? If you need anything I'm a call away," Jin assured him, his tone far calmer and kinder. Namjoon hummed his reply, knowing well that Jin was just trying to make sure he was not angry.

"Just get there safe. We can talk later," Namjoon added before ending the call.

"Were to Mr. Kim," the driver asked, Namjoon placing his phone in his jean pocket.

"The nearest tteok-bokki place. The hotter the better."

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🐨This is the last chapter before the ending chapters so hopefully, while short, it was good enough to satisfy right before the ending.

Thank you for reading!