Holding On To A Promise

Chapter Ten

As he finished in the kitchen, she walked out into the yard staring up at the stars. The view from here always seemed to be the best, they looked so close, close enough to touch. She loved the way the stars twinkled and danced about in the darkness of the sky. Can walked up behind her,   " Hey, I made some tea, would you like some. It's not as good as yours but maybe its drinkable."He whispered, reaching around her with a cup. She turned, " Oh thanks, I'm sure it's just as delicious as the meal." She replied, shocked at how close he was to her. He motioned to the lounge chairs, " Let's sit for a while, are you ok with that, I want you to be comfortable." He started, wondering if she was having trouble with her leg. She agreed, and stretched out on the lounger, " The night is beautiful." She looked around at the perfectly manicured lawn. " Are you going to continue to live here after Emre and Leyla return from their honeymoon?" She asked looking his way. 

He hadn't taken his eyes off of her since they sat down, he couldn't, they seemed to be fixed there drinking in all the beauty that she possessed. The question went unheard, as he marveled at the sight of her, " Can, did you hear me." She asked again. He blinked his eyes, " Sorry, what did you say." He smiled shyly, realizing he had been caught staring at her. " Are you going to stay here after Emre and Leyla return home, do you want to do that." She repeated. Can nodded, " I'll be staying here, in fact Emre and Leyla have found a new house just before they left and will be moving in as soon as they get back." He announced, happy she was concerned about where he would be staying. Sanem hadn't heard about their new home, " Oh really, that's great, I didn't know. Is it close by?" She asked, obviously avoiding the topics they needed to talk about. Can smirked, " Sanem, the location of Emre and Leylas house isn't what I want to talk about tonight. We need to get ourselves use to each other again. I want to know about everything that happened to you while I was gone. Not just the accident but your life, what it was like. And I want to tell you everything that happened to me, don't you want to know?" Can implored, wishing for that magic that they had before to reappear. 

Sanem shifted in her lounger, " Of course I want to know, and I want to tell you about me, but I'm just really nervous tonight, maybe we should just stick to a generic discussion." Her eyes filling with tears. He reached for her hand, wondering why she was nervous, " Sanem it's just me, I'm the same person that I was before. We could always talk to each other, maybe I wasn't a listener and for that I'm sorry. But I have changed, not being able to talk to you or see for all that time made me realize how much I wanted to." The touch of his hand on hers made her almost weak, she hadn't had time to prepare herself for "them" again. She looked at him and then at his hand holding hers, " I'm scared Can, I'm scared that the same thing will happen again. I won't be able to bear it if you leave again. You told me that you would always be there, always listen to me, always be understanding...but you weren't. You judged me, you broke me and then you walked away. What makes you think that you have changed that part of you, how do you know you won't do the same thing again." She gushed, pouring out everything that had been tightly closed up inside her. She looked away, as the tears ran down her face. 

He couldn't stand to see her cry, it hurt worse than anything, he let his thumb gently wipe the tears as they came down, " Sanem, that time alone, out the middle of nowhere, that was the hardest job I ever had to do. You were on my mind constantly, and everything I said to you that night at the cabin has haunted me since I said them. All I can say is I never want to go through that again, I never want to be apart from again. She heard the words he was saying, but her heart still felt that pain. " Can, lets take one days at a time, let's build our trust again. I did things wrong, things I knew you didn't want me to do. But in my defense, it was something I had to do. You did things wrong too, so let's start over and try to do everything right this time." She pleaded, watching him as he tried to accept what she was saying.

After a minute he asked, " Does Metin have anything to do with your decision. I know that Omer was someone special in your life, and I know he wanted to marry you, but is there anything between you and Metin." His eyes looking straight into her heart. She moved away from him, puzzled, had she heard him correctly, did he ask if she was involved with Metin. Her first instinct was to be angry, thinking he was the same old Can, not trusting her. So she waited to answer, just for a minute, then she said,  " Can, Metin has been a great friend, he helped me when I needed it. Nothing more and nothing less, I don't feel I need to explain myself or my feelings to you. But since you asked the question, I will give you an answer.. No, there is not." Her eyes full of hurt. 

Can knew he had asked the right question to the wrong person. "Sanem, I'm sorry, I didnt mean to upset you, and I didn't mean it in a demeaning way. Please forget I said anything." He reached for her, pulling her close to him. She didn't resist, his arms around her made her feel good. She prayed he was being truthful. The feel of her skin unnerved him, making him want more, but he knew it was to soon. Her smell surrounded him, how he wished the last 10 months had just been a bad dream, and they were just as they and been before.. When he finally let his arms release her, he looked into her eyes, " I'll do what ever you want me to do, just don't shut me out, don't say you don't trust me, don't tell me you don't want me. I love you more every minute and I truly can not live without you. So if one day at a time is what you want, then I'll make sure we are together every single day." He kissed her cheek, then rested his forehead against hers.

She felt her body go limp, all the right words were said, he had done all the right things. He had made her believe him, ...again. This man she loved so much was willing to do whatever she wanted. What more could she want, what more did she need than his love.....

Her heart was jumping for joy....

She had made it through the toughest time in her life, just to come back to the man she loved.....