Holding On To A Promise

Chapter Twelve

As they stopped in front of her door, Can reached for her, wanting to hold her and ward off all the fears she had. Sanem accepted him as he cradled her against him, but not for long, gestures like that were frowned upon in the neighborhood, and could quickly tarnish a girls reputation along with her families. Can knew this all to well, so the encounter was brief but meaningful. His voice was low as he told her again how much he loved and adored her, "Sanem, we can be as we were, lets not make the same mistake, let's fix what went wrong and continue on with our love. My feelings for you have not changed, if anything they have grown stronger in our absent." He slid his finger down her cheek, tracing that scar on her face. He felt her winch as he passed over it, and his first instinct was to pull away from it, but he didn't, he let his finger linger there taking in all the pain that he had caused her. 

He gently kissed her cheek, " If I could take it back I would, if I could wave a magic wand and let this all be a bad dream I would. I have done things I'm not proud of, that hurt me and you, but my love is forever."  He whispered. Sanem laced her arms around his neck, not wanting to let him go, " You are right, we can be as we were, we will be as we were. This is our love and we are the ones to decide how we live it.. She smiled at him, as that first glimmer of contentment presented itself to her heart. "So lunch tomorrow right, at 12:00 and don't be late. The deli down the street is very good, we can so that if you like." Can nodded his approval, " Sounds great, but don't tell Metin our plans, he may decide to have you work through your lunch break." He replied, squinting up his eyes. She laughed, not sure if he really meant it or not, but hoping they would settle their differences. She gave him a quick peck on the lips and hopped out of the truck, leaving him stunned at the action.

Mevkibe had waited for her daughter to come home, all the while thinking how much she wanted the boy that had stolen her heart, that polite and thoughtful person, the one they had hoped to have as a son, to return. Not the person that had broken their daughters heart, had clouded her thoughts and caused her more pain then any one should go through. She wanted her Can back....But not at Sanems expense, not if he was only going to hurt her again. She had to keep Sanems feet on the ground, help her keep her heart and mind separate. She knew from a very personal and painful past that sometimes loving someone is not enough, if trust isn't there, the strongest of love can may not survive. She heard the door and stood, waiting for Sanem at the top of the stairs. The beautiful smile the lit up her face told the story. She stopped, startled at first, then she giggled, " Mom, you scared me, why are you still up. You weren't waiting up for me were you." She asked with a puzzled look on her face. 

Can stepped under the hot running water, he knew it should be a cold shower with the thoughts of Sanem and the closeness that they has found with each other just a short time before, but this hot steamy water seemed to be more appropriate. His head was filled with the thoughts of her, even her smell still lingered throughout the house. He knew in his soul that they would find that special place again. It had been special, their feelings for one another, like nothing he had ever known. He had gone all these years thinking what he was feeling for Polen was all there was. Just that occasional euphoria that would accompany the release of sexual tension. He wasn't one to sleep around, so having Polen was the perfect solution. They met a few times a year, had a few days of that euphoria, and then he was on his way again. His work was always more important than sticking around to be with her.. He stepped out and toweled off, slipped on his sleep pants and a t-shirt. He made his way to the kitchen for a nightcap, not quite ready to call it a night. He stretched out on the lounger in the garden where they had been just a short time before. What would have happened if Metin hadn't called, he wondered, would she have let things go back to the way they were, would she have opened up and let him in. But, ...that call, no, that facetime from Metin had jinxed it all. And why, why had he called, it was obvious that it was a poor excuse for a call, but Sanem never doubted it. 

Yes, ...a talk with Metin was definitely in the near future.

" Mom, please don't worry, we are taking it slow. If you would just talk to him, he's really changed. He has apologized numerous times, and begged my forgiveness. Mom, we still love each other." Sanem announced, as if it was something that was to be accepted. Mevkibe shook her head, "Sanem, you can't just run back into something that has left you scared and broken, and I'm not talking about the ones from the accident. I'm taking about the ones of the heart." She spoke, forcing Sanem to look her in the eyes. Sanem saw a woman that meant more to her than anything, had always been there for her, someone that up until now had always known the best way for her to live her life. But this love she had for Can may be something that her mother just couldn't understand. Sure she knew her parents loved each other, but did they love each other down to their core, was it so deep that the other one was attached to their soul like an appendage. Sanem was sure she knew what was best for herself this time, and she hoped that her parents would accept that. She was a grown woman, although she had never been treated as one, and she would follow her heart...

Sanem stood up a little taller and looked her mother straight in the eyes, " Mom, I know you have my best interest at heart, but this time your judgement is clouded. I'm in love with Can, he is the only person I will ever be in love with. Please let me take care of myself and make my own decisions." She recited, just like she had practiced so many times before. Mevkibe's eyes softened and a tiny rim of tears formed, " My daughter, if that is what you want then let it be so, but along with your decisions come the responsibility of accepting your failure. Just be ready for that as well. In this case your not the only one to make that decision, Can also must be ready for that responsibility. I pray you are right." She kissed her daughter on the cheek, turned and walked down the hall.

The words played over in her head, making her uneasy. Her mother had a way of doing that, making you doubt when you thought everything was so clear. 

She slipped into bed, with the thoughts of Can and the feel of his body pressed so firmly against hers.....and almost as if he could hear her thoughts, he texted...

" I still feel your body next to mine, I'm weak with love for you......i'll miss you until tomorrow "

She read the text, pressing the phone against her chest she closed her eyes...

" No, she wasn't making a mistake...not this time."