Rain

I'm So Into You

R A I N

"With every passing moment, thoughts of you run through my head" - I'm so into you, Tamia

It's been about 2 weeks since me and C.J have talked, or communicated in any type of way. It was killing me inside but if he wanted to play the 'ignoring each other' game then we could do that because the 'ignoring' game could turn into 'never speaking to you again' type of shit real fast. Tavi often reminded me about how I should apologize and whatnot, but what exactly did I do wrong? Nothing.

Me and Matthew have gotten closer over the past 2 weeks. We're now texting and calling each other all the damn time, and I love it. But I often think of why I hadn't gotten with C.J since I've always wanted something with him, but I quickly shook those thoughts off. I met a girl named Selena and she's absolutely hilarious, me and her have gotten close, too. I would consider her as a best-friend. She was like me and Matthew's 'relationship consuler' or some shit like that.

Or in other words, she knew everything that went on in our relationship, but I trusted her.

As for me and Jordyn, well, we're the same. I now feel like I have to go over her house every damn weekend or she'll get upset at me, but I wouldn't say that.

I pulled my phone out and clicked on my Instagram page and saw that C.J posted a screenshot that read: 'If you had me & you lost me you stupid' I rolled my eyes because for the past 2 weeks he's been throwing shade at me and it was really pissing me off. I clicked on his page and decided to lurk 2 days ago, he posted a photo of him and some really pretty brown skinned girl. She had dark brown eyes, smooth brown skin, nice full plump lips, and perfect teeth. No doubt she was a head turner. He had his arms wrapped around her and she made a funny face as her arms were around his neck. The caption read 'she a rat bruh @cravemya' With a few emoji's. I rolled my eyes in jealousy and clicked her page.

No lie, she was gorgeous as hell, if I was lesbian I'd definitely see myself liking someone like her. She just had photos of her and C.J from the day he left till' today.

Was I jealous?

Hell yes. But I wasn't about to let C.J know that. I found a picture of sitting on Matthews lap laughing and his arms were tightly around my waist. It wasn't how it looked though, since Matthew's schedule got switched around he has World Language with me. So the other day, in World Language a few days ago there were literally no more seats so he pulled me onto his lap, after a few seconds he said something that had me dying, causing me to get back on his lap and a girl named A'Kyriah took a picture from her phone and sent it to me. I promise I got off of his lap right after I realized the photo was token.

I captioned the photo: 'He's all mines and I'm all his. What's understood doesn't need to be explained.' I knew C.J was most likely going to see the photo, and if he wanted to throw shade then we could do that. I didn't have time for his petty ass! Today was Thursday and we didn't have school tomorrow so I was trying to enjoy myself.

Mama had a surprise for me and Tavi, and I'm hoping it isn't money to shop or anything because I have enough clothes to last me 3 damn years, a different outfit for everyday.

I added the finishing touches to my outfit which was a Swiss Dot Floral Tube Dress, a leather jacket, a pair of heel's but I was sure that they weren't too high because I didn't wanna look too grown. Tavi was dress in red jeggings, a gold sequin peplum top, a sequined Marco Bologna blazer, and red converse.

That was as girly she was going to get.

Today was a important day because it was Tavi's birthday and I was going to be speaking to the 6th graders at an assembly about certain situations. Tavi was turning 14 and I was so happy! I tried to convince her to wear something that showed a little skin, but she still has many scars and just isn't ready to let everybody see them yet and I completely understand that.