Blue Sunflowers (An Oumasai story)

4. Why So Sad, Shumai?

PLZ EXCUSE THE PICTURE IT WAS A GOOD ONE AT THE TIME AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING IT. deal with it, nerds. ALSO! Big trigger warning for things like self harm, suicide, depression, etc. Please be careful loves!

Kokichi's POV

"And that's why... you're the killer..." Shumai pointed at Kirumi with a shaky finger, tears threatening to fall from his gorgeous golden eyes. He looked devastated. I honestly felt bad for my beloved. And the maid girl too, I guess. But I know I will miss her yummy food and her caring personality... although I knew more than to show my emotions. I would have helped in the trial, since Shuichi had mostly filled me in before coming, but I was too busy trying not to cough. It's a load harder than it seems.

"Welp, I guess that's the trial, Nishishi~! We should start voting then, I'm bored!" I yelled out, feeling a little bit better and less likely to cough. That wasn't the only reason I spoke, though. My medicine was wearing down and I wanted out of this place.

"I'd accuse you of being the culprit if you had said that before, but I guess the evidence Shuichi has is viable... Kirumi really did kill Ryoma." Kaito mumbled.

I shrugged, then pressed the vote button in front of me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked out of the trial grounds, heart heavy. I didn't want to admit it, but Kirumi felt like a mother to me. It made me kinda depressed when she struggled to try and get out of her execution, how she attempted to defend herself, the look in her eyes. Ugh, I'm getting sentimental again.

I felt a familiar tickle in my chest and decided to get back to my room to go cough my lungs out. Ha, literally! I opened the door and stepped inside, closing and 'locking' it behind me. I rushed to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat, coughing and retching petals and flower buds, along with loads of pink blood, into the toilet. This continued for at least ten minutes, until it slowed down. I felt light-headed, so I leaned myself on the wall to catch my breath.

If only I could confess to him.

This would all go away.

I might even be happy.

I could focus on escaping.

I could stop cutting. I could take off my mask in front of people. I could have friends. I could go out with them and laugh and have fun and eat and play!

I didn't realize it, but hot tears had started to run down my face. I let out a choked sob, curling up into a tight ball and letting more tears stream down my cheeks. I wouldn't get to see that future that I had hoped for oh so dearly. Why was it ME who had to suffer like this?! What did I do to deserve this?!

"I NEVER WANTED MY LIFE TO GO TO SHIT!!! WHY ME?! WHY ME? Why me..? Why.... couldn't it have been somebody else...?"

My body started shaking as I sobbed, unable to control it now. I screamed curses into the lonely space around me, begging for something to happen, something to help me get better. Then I shut up. I began thinking a bit. Crying wouldn't do anything. If I could just get out of this game, I would. Maybe I could just. Get out myself. It can't be that hard, right? Ah hah hah...!

TRIGGER WARNING! SKIP TO WHEN YOU SEE SHUICHI'S POV IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

I uncurled my body and shakily stood up, using the wall as support. I stumbled to the sink, my entire being filled with blood lust. I fumbled with the drawer underneath the basin, opening it and pulling out a shaving razor. I quickly took it apart and tossed all but the sharp blade into the trash bin.

I pulled my left sleeve up and carefully unwrapped the bandages already on my wrist. I tossed them aside and brought the sharp metal edge to my already scarred skin. I giggled, a probably psychotic look on my face as I dug the tip of the blade into my pale wrist. I drew a lot of blood. My laughing continued as I repeatedly stabbed my wrist, turning into a full on cackle as I began to feel dizzy from blood loss.

It felt good. Oh, it felt SO GOOD! I'M FINALLY GOING TO LEAVE THIS PLACE! IT TOOK SO LONG BUT FINALLY! YES!!

I placed the razor back down inside the sink, my eyes wide and hysteric, a full toothed grin plastered on my face. I sank to the ground and, before I knew it, everything had been replaced with a blank dream.

Shuichi's POV

I sat on my bed, feeling a little bit off. Well, of course I was! Kirumi was just executed! The Kirumi that helped me when I caught a cold. The Kirumi that made us all food that reminded us of home. The Kirumi that helped me make soup for when Kokichi was sick. THAT Kirumi.

I tucked my knees into my body and rested my head on them, silent tears falling from my face. It was always like this. Every time somebody died, I broke down. Why was I so weak? Why couldn't I ever do anything okay? I forced myself to stop crying. I needed a distraction. Oh, I can go visit Kokichi! He still might not be feeling well, and before the trail, he said he wanted company. Yeah, I'll go see Kokichi and his cute little face!

I hopped off my bed a little more enthusiastically than usual and headed out the door and down towards Kokichi's dorm room.

I stopped in my tracks when I reached the door. I heard loud cackling coming from the other side. What the fuck?! After a second or two, I heard a THUNK from inside. My eyes went wide and I panicked, opening the door. He didn't lock it? Whatever, better for me. I re-closed the door and locked it to make sure nobody came in. I was afraid of what I might see. I searched around his messy room until I saw pink blood on the tiles of the open bathroom. Blood?! I ran to the bathroom, terrified.

ANOTHER TRIGGER WARNING!! WHEN YOU SEE THIS --> ***, YOU WILL KNOW WHEN TO KEEP READING!

What I saw there scarred me for a long time.

There, I saw Kokichi laying on the floor in a heap, blood continuously running from his wrist. There was a frightening amount of it. I spotted a bandage and bloody razor in the sink, and remnants of a Hanahaki fit in the toilet. I immediately guessed what happened.

Kokichi wanted to commit suicide.

I saw his chest rising and falling quickly. Good, he was still alive. But he didn't have much time left. I remember all kinds of first aid being in the drawer under the sink in all the dorms, so I opened that and took out bandages, antiseptic spray, cotton, and other things. I took the bandages and cotton to staunch the bleeding from Kokichi's wrist, my hands shaking.

I finally got enough bandages on so that no more blood could seep through. Good. I took a deep breath. Kokichi always acted so happy and nonchalant all the time. What... what in the world happened?!

***

I carefully picked up the surprisingly light purple-haired teen and took him to his bed, taking care not to hurt his neck of cause any more bleeding.

I lied him on the sheets and covered him with a blanket, keeping his hand outside of it so I could make sure it would be alright. I brought a chair from the corner of the room and took it to the bedside and sat in it, my anxiety going through the roof.

"Gotta make sure he doesn't stop breathing, if he gets a fever, use a cold compress..." I mumbled to myself nervously. I kept my eyes glued to Kokichi for a while.

It seemed like an eternity that I was watching him, making sure nothing went wrong. Until Kokichi's eyes started fluttering open. Before I could even ask him if he was okay, he spoke first.

"Why so sad, Shumai? I thought everybody here wanted me dead."

(Word Count: 1368)

I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS!! I felt it was time for some angst, and I think I delivered. Again, super sorry for negative triggers and making my bbs sad. Leave criticism here to help me improve my writing please! Also, any ideas for upcoming chapters? I want to incorporate some fan ideas into this fic, since it's my first! Anyways, I'll see you in the next one!