Blue Sunflowers (An Oumasai story)

6. Heaven or Hell?

ALRIGHT MY DUDES!! This is going to be kind of an ending chapter (I told you this would be short). Also, before I actually finish it, I will have two epilogues, given that this will have two endings. So it will go this chapter, good ending, then bad ending. I probably won't update for a while after this, so sorry!

Kokichi's POV

I strolled back to the main building, my hands resting behind my head. I hopefully looked relaxed on the outside, because on the inside, I was sort of freaking out. I still had my doubts of Saihara-chan excepting me.

He was putting on an act because he pities you.

That isn't true!

But you always lie, even to yourself. What's different that makes your statement truthful?

Be quiet, fucker!

You don't really deserve anything, do you? Much less your sweet Shumai's pity!

I said SHUT UP!

I shook my head vigorously, dismissing my thoughts. I'd have to just go ask the guy himself, if he truly cared.

While I was arguing with myself like a doofus, I had already found myself in front of Shuichi's dorm room. I didn't really mean to go there. I wanted to go to my room. But, since I'm here, I may as well make the most of it.

I reached my hand out to knock on the door before I felt something slam into my arm, then smash my face. I fell on my butt in front of the now open door, rubbing my forehead.

"Oww..."

"Ah-! Uh, Kokichi! Are you alright? I'm sorry for hitting you I was in a hurry and didn't know you were there and-" Shuichi rambled on. I was hardly listening though. I was kind of dazed, and Shumai's golden gaze was paralyzing me.

"Are you even listening? I asked what you were doing here and if you were okay." I snapped out of my love struck trance, realizing Shuichi had pulled me up so that I was standing in front of him.

Holy shit.

I'm holding his hands.

ANDJCKHVEBIRSNCWEHFUHQ I'M HOLDING HIS HANDS AHHHHHHH!!!

"Uh- umm.. I'm oka-ay! I was uh... here cause I- I wanted to ask if... umm..." I stuttered, unable to really make much of a coherent sentence. My face was getting redder by the second.

He's still holding my hands. He hasn't let go yet.

"CAN I COME IN?!" Shit. That was weird. I kinda yelled in his face. He'll think I'm mean now. Ugh I'm useless.

I looked at the ground, trying to hide my burning cheeks. I hate this fucking life.

"Um, yeah, sure!" Shuichi replied, smiling down at me. I felt the life leave my body. At least my cause of death wasn't murder, execution, or suffocation by flower.

Shuichi gently pulled me along and into his room. While he wasn't looking, I took giant breaths to STOP FREAKING OUT! IT IS JUST SHUICHI!

"Ah, are you alright? You're breathing pretty hard, are you going to cough again?" Shuichi asked, bending down to my level with a concerned look on his face.

"I'm fine, just really gay..."

"What?"

"NOTHING I'M OKAY!"

Shuichi's eyes narrowed, suspicious.

"I promise, I'm fine. I just... wanted to ask you a few things." I let go of his hands, walking to the chair near the corner. While I fidgeted, waiting for Shuichi to ask what I wanted to know, I looked around a bit. His dorm is really neat. Everything is in drawers or shelves or on the table. It's a hell of a lot different than my room.

"So.. what did you want to know?" Shuichi had sat on his bed, leaning forward to seem interested in the conversation.

But I knew he was only putting on an act.

He had to be.

"Well... I just wanted to know if you actually cared about me. I don't doubt your words, per say! I just think you're only paying attention to me to eventually use me. Just because you know about the coughing doesn't mean you will treat me differently than the others." I was surprised by my boldness. YOU IDIOT! Talking to Shuichi like that will only make him hate you more! (Bro, do you not realize how he looks at you?) I physically cringed at myself, wishing I could just jump off a building.

I looked up to see Shuichi staring at me with wide eyes. I guess my chances with him are gone, if I had any in the first place. (This dense motherf*cker!)

I opened my mouth to apologize and make up an excuse to leave when his expression softened. I flinched, squeezing my eyes shut. I dunno why I did. I guess it's just a habit I picked up from before the killing game.

I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder and I looked up. Shuichi was staring at me with those beautifully golden eyes of his.

"Kokichi. Honestly, you are so dense." (THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYIN!)

"Huh?"

"Of fucking COURSE I care about you! Why do you think I would go through all the trouble if I didn't? Also, if you thought I was gonna use you, do you honestly think I would even try when we both know you're gonna d-..." Shuichi cut himself off.

"Aw, Shuichi, that's very kind of you, but you don't have to shy around the fact that I'm gonna die soon. I know that already." I chuckled self-consciously, not really wanting to make the conversation about me.

"Well, then I won't. I looked some stuff up about Hanahaki and," Shuichi took a shuddering breath. "depending on how large the quantity of petals there were at a given time, the site would give the estimated time of death if left untreated. You have the rest of today, at most."

"Yeah, I kinda felt like that was the case. I've been getting super sentimental lately, trying to make friends even! Me and friends in the same sentence don't really go together." I laughed, but I worried it would sound too fake. Shumai caught on.

"Kokichi, please stop faking it. I know you're terrified of dying! It's human to be afraid of death! If you don't confess to who you like before tonight, you WILL die! And... I don't know if I could handle it if you died. You're my friend, after all." Shuichi smiled at me. His eyes were sad. I don't think I could look into his eyes again if they were like that.

"Well, you see," I spoke softly. "I would rather die not knowing if somebody loved me or not than die regretting spilling my feelings all over the place, only for the person I like to reject them. It would save me the pai-" My chest grew tight. I cleared my throat, trying to carry on with the conversation, but ultimately failing.

"Shit-!" I croaked out, before coughing up a messy pile/puddle of blood and blue petals. Many flower buds were also in the mix, but my vision was too blurry to really make any of it out. I heard a panicked voice yelling for me, but I was hardly listening.

This is the end. Where will I go? To heaven or to hell?

(Word Count: 1164)

Aye everybody! I may or may not update a bit later next time you see me because I'm leaving home for a bit. I didn't edit this again because the person writing it is a lazy bitch! Leave criticism, comments, and appreciation here. Also, I probably need new fic ideas since this thing is coming to a close. So if you have any ideas, please name the pairing, what the characters are from, and any special details you may want to include in the fic! See you guys next time!