Here comes the sun - Larry

CHAPTER 21

It seems that Liam and Zayn are getting more comfortable with public affection. Liam is still a little hesitant, but Zayn also doesn't do anything unless it's Liam who takes the initiative. I feel defeated when I look at them, so irritated that I can't bring myself to take Harry's hand in the hallway. I don't think I would mind the curious eyes, but I don't want to put it out there when I haven't made a decision yet. I feel a little guilty, though, for stringing him along when I might not get to a point where I'm okay with being his something more.

"I'm gonna have to teach you this soon." Harry tells me, tying my tie for me while I lean against the lockers—we were in quite the rush this morning, so unnecessary things like tying ties had to wait.

"I like it better when you do it," I admit, catching a smile from him. "I like looking at you when you're concentrating."

He meets my eyes. "Is that so?"

"Mmm."

He finishes up with my tie, then tugs on it. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"I have practice."

"I'll come watch."

"I can't consecrate when you watch."

"I won't watch, then," he says, biting his lip. "I'll just sit there and write."

I bite my lip, too, resisting the urge to pull him closer. "I want to read it, you know—whatever you're writing."

"No," he says, tugging on my tie. "It's private."

I pout. "Fine."

"I'll see you after school."

"Hey," I say, stopping him from leaving. "Maybe you should sit with us during lunch. I know the boys won't mind."

He smiles. "I'll be there."

It takes everything inside me not to kiss him. I've resisted all morning, too, still afraid of where we're headed. It helped that we were in a rush, that we didn't have time to stop and take a moment to breathe. And now that we're here with a couple of minutes to spare we can't let it happen, not unless we want the universe to implode at the impact.

I'm still surprised by last night's events, not to mention the intensity of my orgasm. I can't believe something as simple as rubbing my cock against Harry's led me into such a frenzy, but somehow that's what happened. And I believe Harry is quite pleased by knowing he did a better job than Emily ever did.

I want to tell Liam, especially now that I'm watching him with Zayn, watching them interact across the hall. I assume they're caught up in their own world—at least it seems that way. They can't quite bring themselves to separate before they're forced to by the bell. I fall in line with Liam when we head towards the same class, but even then I can't get the words out.

I don't think he'd mind, given his whole situation with Zayn, but I'm still worried, perhaps because he might think I'm doing it to steal his thunder—not that it's much of a thunder, really. Harry creates thunder in my heart, though, but I don't want Liam to think I'm doing it because he says it feels good. I don't want him to think I'm leading Harry on, not even if that might be the case. And it's not like I'm doing it on purpose, I'm just trying to figure myself out. And I understand that it's silly because Liam would absolutely understand what I'm trying to work my way through, but the words just won't come out.

I spend first and second period trying to find some courage because in the very end, I want Liam to know. I even want Niall to know, though I believe he'd just tease me for suddenly liking cock, which is... alright, I suppose, given that I've never been into boys before, yet all of a sudden I want a cock in my mouth. Niall will understand and accept me, absolutely, but he'll tease me immensely, too. And to be perfectly honest, I think it would ease some of the tension inside me to hear him mess around, mainly because I'm a fucking mess at the moment, and he'd make me feel better in a heartbeat.